'Friend Hook-Ups'. The Pros and Cons of Them.

If you’ve tried an online dating site before with no success and/or if professional matchmaking services aren’t quite what you’ve hoped they would be (if that is the case, you might wanna try Tawkify), and all of the people closest to you know that you’re looking to get into a relationship, we’re happy that the title of this article has caught your attention.

We say that because most friends like to see their friends in love (especially if they are). So usually, when one of their friends is single, that sends them into overdrive when it comes to looking for the kind of person who will be just perfect for their buddy.

If you happen to fall in this category (meaning, you’re in “the single buddy”) and you’re a bit gun shy about letting your friends set you up with someone they know, here are some of the pros and cons that come with friend hook-ups. That way, you can remain open to the possibilities, while safely guarding your heart in the process (just in case things don’t work out).

PRO: They already know you (your friends, that is). One advantage to having a friend hook you up with someone is the fact that they personally know you. So, in some ways, they are a lot like a professional matchmaker that you can get to set you up, free of charge.  As a bonus, if they’ve been in your life long enough to witness some of your previous relationships, they will already have an idea of the kind of people who are your type…as well as the ones who honestly aren’t.

CON: At the same time, they might think they know you better than you do yourself! Friends who want to play matchmaker can sometimes be a bit on the aggressive side. For instance, they might show you a picture of someone all the while claiming “They’re just perfect for you” even though you’ve already said that they are not physically your type. If you’re going to allow a friend to hook you up, just make sure to not let them bully you out of your own boundaries (and interests). Speak up for yourself. A true friend will respect that.

PRO: You can get a lot of information on the front end. When you’re using an online dating service (for instance), you are pretty much at the mercy of the profiles that you’re reading---and sometimes, they are not the most reliable sources of information. But when a friend is trying to hook you up, you can ask as many questions as you’d like, trusting that they are going to tell you that truth. And if they don’t, their body language will. (“So friend, if he’s ‘so cute’, why are you squirming in your seat and sighing?”)

CON: They might move ahead of your comfort zone. Don’t put it past a friend to ask “So, I’ll set it up? Cool!” and then have a double date ready for you within 48 hours. The moral to the story is this: If you’re going to let friend set you 9 up with someone, make sure that you are ready for the moment you say “go”. 9 times out of 10, you can best believe that they are going to move full speed ahead! If you need a couple of weeks to think it over, make sure that you say that. Otherwise, prepare to be on a date sooner than later.

PRO: Double dating can take the “edge” off. First dates always have the potential to be a bit awkward. But when your friend says “Y’all can even go on a date with me and my sweetie!” that can actually make it a lot easier. Being that your friend (and perhaps even their significant other) know the both of you, you won’t have to worry about dealing with things like awkward silence or how to smoothly transition from one topic to another. Your friend and their companion will be there to fill in the blanks.

CON: Breaking up can be hard to do. If things don’t mesh well after the first or second date, this “con” won’t be too much of an issue; that’s because you’re not emotionally attached (enough) yet. But if the relationship went for longer than a few months, your friend is thrilled about successfully making a love connection and things don’t work out…well, that could make things pretty awkward for all parties involved. With a professional matchmaker, they are trained in how to move on from a bad match. But a friend? Sometimes they end up taking the break up harder than you do, which means that you’ll have to find some time and energy to help them to “heal” too. Definitely something to keep in mind before allowing one of your friends to hook you up with someone!

Right Relationship. Wrong Time. (Work-Wise). How to Be Just as Ambitious Personally as You Are Professionally.

You might’ve heard the quote “The right person comes at the right time.” In many cases, that would be true. But what happens if you’re someone who actually didn’t go through a professional matchmaking company or online dating service in order to find true love because honestly, you were too busy with your job to do so? What happens when meeting someone was literally the last thing on your mind…but out of nowhere---perhaps while at the grocery store, in a restaurant or at a friend’s house---you meet a person who seems to be all of what you’ve been looking for?

The thing is, you’re really focused on your work right now. As a result, you’re scared that the timing could pretty much work against you; that you might have to give up a romance for your professional ambitions? It’s the kind of situation that happens quite a bit, but isn’t written about nearly as much as it should be.

If your heart is currently more into your work, but you don’t want to lose the awesome individual who has recently come into your life, here are some suggestions for how to be just as ambitious personally as you are professionally.

Get on a schedule. Say that you’re someone who’s trying to get your own company off of the ground. If that’s the case, then you already know that you can easily work 15+ hour days. That can make eating and sleeping, let alone dating, very hard to do. Something that you can do to balance things out is to get on a schedule. Give yourself at least one day when you’re not focused on work and then set aside a couple of hours to go to a restaurant or check out a movie with the person you’re seeing. Honestly, this is something that you should do whether you’re seeing someone or not. Rest and leisure are good for your overall health and well-being. No one needs to literally kill themselves with ambition.

Be open and honest. If you know that you have the tendency to be a bit of a workaholic, it’s important that you get that out and in the open on the front end. Maybe not the first date but definitely by the third. Otherwise, if the person you’re seeing keeps trying to make plans and you’re constantly having to cancel or reschedule, it will send the message that you’re not interested, when the reality is that you simply have a lot on your plate.

Don’t break dates. Ambition can be pretty attractive during the beginning stages of a relationship. But when it makes someone feel as if they are no longer a priority in your life, then it can start to take a real toll. You don’t want to come across as being the kind of person who doesn’t say what they mean and mean what they say. So, even if you can only go on a date a couple of times per month, do everything within your power to keep the ones that you do make. It will send the message that although you do have a lot going on, the person you’re seeing is not getting lost in the shuffle. It will convey that they matter to you too.

Plan special dates. Here’s something that you can definitely do to send the message that you’re invested in your relationship even while you are invested in your work: plan special dates. To go to dinner and a movie, that doesn’t require a whole lot of pre-planning. But to go to an outdoor concert, a picnic or to take a day trip to a city close-by---that requires a bit more effort. And when you call to say “Hey, I have a surprise for you this weekend, are you game?” and they see that it consists of doing something that is a bit outside of the box, they’ll know that they’re on your mind. Even when you can’t always see each other.

Keep the future in mind. When it comes to your professional goals, you don’t plan on being in the place next year as you are now, right? So why wouldn’t you also want to make plans for your relationship? By letting the person you’re seeing know that you want things to grow into something more, they will be able to take comfort in the fact that although you are super ambitious as it relates to your professional life, in many ways, the same thing can be said about your personal one too!

Dating the Old-Fashioned Way: 6 Things We All Should Still Do

Although there are some people who tend to use the word “old-fashioned” as if it’s a bad thing, we couldn’t disagree more. In a time where things are ever-shifting, culturally, it’s nice to keep some traditions around---some values that can help people to feel good about themselves. This is especially the case when it comes to dating.

No, we’re not saying that every man has to open up a restaurant door or that every woman should wait for a guy to ask her out. At the same time, there are some things about how our grandparents used to date that should still at least be considered. Because from where we sit, some of the “old-fashioned things” were actually quite romantic and ultimately helped to set the foundation for a lot of healthy, happy and committed relationships. (Just ask your grandparents.)

Plan some old-fashioned dates. Say that you hired a professional matchmaker to help you to find a date. If you were to share with them that you were looking to have an old-fashioned experience, they would probably be all over it! There is something to be said about going dancing, having dinner and then desert at an old-fashioned ice cream parlor or even going to the fair. Yep, one of the best things about old-fashioned dates is that it’s not about “getting physical”. It’s about creating an atmosphere where you and your date can simply get to know each other better.

Dress up. You know what they say about first impressions, right? So, why wouldn’t you want to “wow” someone on your first (and second and third) date? Sure, you need to dress in a way that fits the date that you have planned, but try to veer away from T-shirts and jeans every single time (especially the first time!). If you’ve got a nice suit or show-stopping dress, a date is the perfect time to pull it out and put it on!

Fellas, be chivalrous. Personally, we don’t know too many women who would throw a fit about a man coming to her door with flowers or opening up the car door so that she can get in (yeah, please don’t sit in her driveway and honk incessantly). Chivalry is a sign of romance and that always puts a smile (and blush) on a woman’s face. At the same time ladies, it’s a wise man who once said that chivalry is not dead; it simply went wherever being ladylike went. Being kind and appreciative when you see a man making these types of efforts is more than appropriate too.

Be technology-free. It would be nice if this particular rule could go without saying but…it must go on record. Having a smartphone is basically a way of life now. We totally get that. But what could possibly be so important that you can’t set your ringer to vibrate and you can’t turn off your social media notifications? Your date deserves your undivided attention. One of the best ways to demonstrate that you agree is to go on your date, technology-free.

Flirt. Ah, the art of flirting. By this, we don’t mean making crass sex jokes or gawking at one another’s body parts the entire night. We mean giving each other sincere compliments, winking an eye a time or two and “accidently” bumping your hands into each other’s. Flirting is also about sending a sweet text following the date. No doubt about it, flirting can be fun when it’s “above board”. When it’s subtle and not too aggressive or overt.

Follow-up. If after your first date, you realize that you are in no way interested, that’s one thing. And honestly, even then, you should still send a text saying that you appreciated meeting your date. But if you would like to see them again, we wrote an entire article on follow-up etiquette (you can read it here). The “cliff note version” is basically to follow-up, no later than the following morning with a text or call, express how much you enjoyed spending time with them and ask if they would be interested in going out again. If they would, ask them about what they enjoy doing. Showing that you are truly interested will help to put them at ease and set a really warm and comfortable tone…which a really great foundation for a dating relationship. One that now has a few special old-fashioned elements to it.

Dates Revealed: 6 Different Dates That Will Show You Things About Your Relationship

If your guilty pleasure is watching The Bachelor (or Bachelorette) and a part of the reason is because you secretly fantasize about going on extravagant dates, you don’t have to go out on a casting call in order to make that happen. There are actually affordable and professional matchmaking companies that will not only create a date of your dreams, but with a person that you won’t have to share with a bunch of other people. One of those companies happens to be Tawkify. Check ‘em out when you get a chance.

Then, once you connect with someone that you feel you’d like to get to know better, we recommend that you take this article into serious consideration. Since going on dates is all about getting to know someone better, we think it’s always a good idea to go on several different kinds. Sure, restaurants are cool; they’re top on our list, actually. But it’s been our experience that different settings can bring about different sides of an individual’s personality.

So, what should be the top dates on your list? Here are our six recommendations:

Restaurant. Restaurants are a good idea, especially for the first or second date, for a few reasons. One, it’s public enough for you to feel safe while also being intimate enough to engage in conversation. Two, you can learn a lot about their manners and etiquette; not just when it comes to what they do at the table but also how they treat the wait staff. It’s also a non-pressuring way to start to find out some of their personal likes and dislikes. Hey, we’ve all got to eat, right? Food tends to reveal a lot about a person.

Movies. Some people don’t like the thought of going to movies on a date because they feel that it’s not conducive to being able to spend any quality time. After all, you’re supposed to be so quiet in the movies that even your smartphone should be turned off. The reason why we like it, though, is because it’s a great way to find out how your date is when it comes to being intimate and especially giving public displays of affection. For the record, this is also why we don’t think it’s the best kind of first date. You don’t know them well enough to be intimate yet. But after three or so dates, if you feel like you want to kiss or cuddle, movie theaters are the best kind of set up.

Concert. Here’s another way to find out what makes them tick and what doesn’t. Musical tastes also reveal a lot about a person. Plus, if you like who you’re seeing so much that you want to introduce them to a family member or a few friends, this is a casual way to do it without them feeling like the spotlight is awkwardly on them. Also, live concerts are a lot of fun, so you’ll get to see if they have a “fancy-free” side to them. (Always a bonus!)

Outdoor date. OK, this particular suggestion pretty much runs the gamut because of all of the good reasons why it’s wise to go on an outdoor date. Take a picnic, for example. Being that they aren’t super-expensive, anyone who is down for one tends to give the impression that spending time with you is more important than how much money a date costs. Plus, it’s definitely in the Top Ten in the romance department. Then there’s going hiking or bike riding. If you’re big on physical fitness, this is a good way to find out if you’re both compatible in this area. And kayaking, parasailing, zip-lining, paddle boarding, etc.? This reveals the spontaneous and semi-daring side of someone. If that’s important to you, definitely suggest one of these types of activities. Trust us, it will reveal…a lot. Before, during and after the date is over!

Coffee shop. You need to feel like the person you’re with is someone with whom conversation simply and easily flows. What better way to discover that than in a coffee shop? One of the best things about this kind of date is coffee shops tend to be a lot more “chilled out” when it comes to how long people wish to stay there. So long as you order something to warm to drink and perhaps a pastry, you can sit across from each other for hours on end if you want. And during that time, discover so much about one another.

Road Trip. If you’re someone who thinks that road trips should be reserved for more serious---perhaps exclusive---relationships, we totally respect that. At the same time, we’re all for couples going on a road trip after around the fifth date, even if it’s only a day trip. Spending hours together in a car forces you to see how you handle things like traffic, getting lost and traveling to new destinations. Yeah, two people who think they are headed down Lover’s Lane should definitely (DEFINITELY) take a road trip!

Camping. Nothing really brings out someone’s survival skills, and sometimes not-so-sunny disposition, like camping does. For instance, if it rains the first day or so, you’ll see how your date handles disappointment. Plus, being that camping calls for more of a “rustic” approach to life, you can also see their not-so-glamorous side which is a good thing. If they are willing to reveal their natural state, you will get to know more about their real selves. And from that, a true relationship can begin. All from camping? Yep. We’ve see it happen time and time again!

When They Want More: Sensitive Ways to Slow Down the Relationship

Although many of us dream of meeting our one true love, more times than not, it’s easier said than done. Out of the billions of people on the planet, it really is amazing that it can be so challenging to find our soul mate---the one individual who we feel is just right for us. The one we want to accompany us in this journey we call “life”.

This longing might be a part of the reason why, when we meet someone who we kind of like, we try to force it to be---or to move faster---than it needs to.

C’mon, we’ve all been there before.

You’re hooked up through a professional matchmaker or a good friend. You’re told that they think the person is “perfect” for you and so you give it a shot. And here’s the real catcher: You actually enjoy their company. The issue is that after a few dates, you discover that they are a bit more into you than you are into them. At least for now.

You might feel that way because they are calling you all of the time or they even bring up the possibility of becoming exclusive in the near future. And while you’re not at a point where you can firmly say that there’s not some real potential there, what you do know is you want them to pump their brakes a bit. Again, at least for now.

But how do you do that in such a way where it doesn’t turn them totally off or cause them to not want to allow things to happen a bit more…naturally?

If you’re in a relationship with someone you like, just not love, and while you want to see where it can go, you also want a bit more time and space in the meantime, here are some tips on how to slow down the relationship. Gently and sensitively so.

Put yourself in their shoes. Anyone who’s lived on this planet long enough has experienced some sort of rejection before. And while this is more of a “let’s talk a few steps back” rather than an all-out rejection conversation, it’s still a good idea to practice the Golden Rule; to do unto them what you would want them to do unto you. So before saying anything, take out a moment to think about how you would want to be addressed. That way, you can choose your words, tone and even your body language wisely. Beforehand.

Do it in person. When it comes to semi-serious conversations, nothing says “insensitivity” quite like doing it over the phone. Or worse, sharing thoughts over text or in an email. In fact, not only does it tend to send the message that you’re not the most sensitive person on the planet, but it’s actually a bit on the side of cowardly too. Being that communication is not just about what we say but our facial expressions when we say it, it’s a kind gesture to talk about these kinds of things in person. Tip: Don’t catch them totally off guard though. It’s also nice to give them a bit of a heads up by saying “I’d like to talk to you about something when we met up this week.” That way, they’ll be somewhat (emotionally) prepared.

Be honest. Whoever came up with the whole “say something nice and then follow it up with something not-so-nice” is not our favorite person on the planet. In our humble opinion, it’s basically buttering up someone for the kill. Plus, most smart people can see it coming a mile away. So rather than taking the whole “You’re a really nice guy (or girl)” approach, be honest. Yes, you think they are pretty cool but that’s not really the point. The point is that you like them and also you need more time to see how you feel about taking things to another level. If they’re mature, they will appreciate you letting them know what page you’re on. They will respect your forthrightness and honesty. And if they’re not? Well, that could actually help you to make a decision about what to do next. And when.

“Pause” on the physical intimacy. You’re going to do nothing but send a series of mixed messages if you’re not ready for anything serious or exclusive, but you start or continue a sexual relationship with them. So, if you really want to slow things down, this should include the physical intimacy too. That way, the boundaries are clear…until you’re clearer about where you want things to go. And in the meantime, you come off as a stand-up person and not someone who’s looking for the benefits of a relationship without any of the responsibility.

Don’t overthink it. Once the conversation has been had, try and avoid making them feel like they have to walk on eggshells whenever they’re with you. Make it clear that you really do like spending time with them; it’s just that you want to be emotionally responsible by making sure that you both remain on the same page. Just remember that after the conversation’s been had, it’s not necessary to keep bringing the topic up. You both have a mutual understanding. It’s now time to enjoy the relationship---as you see where it leads.

6 Dating Myths That Can Keep You from Finding Real Love

Do you have a date coming up this weekend? If so, be honest. How do you feel about it?

If it’s your first date (perhaps one that you got through a professional matchmaker service), then we’re willing to bet that you’re a bit nervous. On the other hand, if it’s your second or third, although the initial anxiety may be gone, you’ve probably entered into the stage where you’re wondering if there could possibly be a real future with the person that you’re seeing. Either way, we’re glad that you’re reading this article because hopefully, it’s going to provide you with a few insights on how you can make the most out of your dating experiences.

You see, what we’re about to do is share with you some popular dating myths. Ones that a lot of people seem to apply that, interestingly enough, can actually keep people from finding the real and lasting love that they’re looking for.

Are you curious to know what some of those myths are?

Cool. We’re more than happy to debunk them for you.

“If I’m not immediately attracted, what’s the point?” Although it would be awesome if every couple felt an immediate physical attraction to one another, the reality is there are a lot of happily married people who will tell you that wasn’t their experience with their spouse when they first met. Sadly, sometimes people mistake passion for real potential. Meaning, just because someone doesn’t look like your teenage crush or make your heart flip at the sight of them, that doesn’t mean that they are not someone who has the ability to pull at your heart strings, in time. Look, there are a ton of celebrities who are attractive---and alone. There are also a lot of “pretty people” who are straight-up jerks. Even if someone doesn’t catch your eye at first, give it some time. Sometimes the more you get to know a person’s personality, the more appealing they become. Mentally, emotionally and yes, even physically.

“We have to agree with most things in order to be compatible.” There’s a man who once said “When two people are just alike, one of them is unnecessary.” In other words, a healthy relationship should stretch you; it should help you to grow. That tends to happen more when you’re involved with someone who doesn’t have all of the same views and opinions as you do. Don’t look for someone who is your relational clone. Look for someone who listens, respects what you have to say and always gives you a new way to seeing things.

“You should know in 3-5 dates if someone is ‘the one’.” Yes, there are some people who will tell you that the moment they set eyes on their significant other, they knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with them. But that tends to be more of the exception than the rule. Therefore, don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself or the person that you’re seeing to know if you can see forever with them after only a few dates. Some of the best things happen gradually, not instantaneously.

“All dates should be over-the-top experiences.” Although wining and dining are awesome, let The Bachelor (and The Bachelorette) serve as blaring reminders that you need more than a swanky date to keep someone interested for the long haul. Going on impressive dates, especially in the beginning, provides a pretty nice first impression. But don’t underestimate the quality time and awesome memories that can also come from a picnic or stroll through the park.

“If they’re not seeing only me, they are not interested in getting serious.” As with many things in life, dating comes in stages and during the initial one, it’s perfectly fine if the person you’re seeing is still seeing other people too. It takes a while for individuals to come to the conclusion that they want to be exclusive, and what you don’t want to do is put the pressure on them to make a decision before they are ready. Remember, you want someone to choose you rather than feel like they were being put on a time clock or given some crazy ultimatum by you.

“What I don’t like about a person, I can always change---later.” Not only is this probably one of the biggest dating myths on the entire planet, but it’s also the cause for a lot of divorces too! Besides, how would you feel if you found out that the person you’re interested in doesn’t like you for who you are, but is keeping it to themselves believing that they can change you once they “seal the deal”? Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are. So if you don’t like something about someone, mention it, learn to deal with it or make the decision that your next date…should also be your last.

Dating Faux Pas: 5 Dating Mistakes You May Not Know You're Making (While on a Date)

Dating. Like so many other things, there is an “art” to it.

We say this because although the ultimate objective of dating is to get to know someone better so that you both can determine if you want to be in a relationship, the initial dating experience is a process.

Being that so many people start dating through a professional matchmaking service, a connection through an online profile, a set-up from a friend or co-worker or even a stranger that they met in the grocery store or in the mall, everyone needs a few tips on how to ease into dating. That way, both individuals can get the most out of each date that they go one. That way, they can both walk away knowing that it was time well spent.

So, if you have a date coming up this weekend, we wanted to provide you with a list of some common dating mistakes that people tend to make. If you take note of these, we’re confident that your date will be fun and purposeful---that you’ll be one step closer to knowing if they are someone you want to spend more time with. Or not.

Mistake #1: Talking more than listening. Although a part of the purpose of the date is certainly that they are able to get to know you better, remember that you need to get to know them too. Therefore, pay attention to how many questions you ask vs. answer. Take note of if you find yourself going on and on without letting them get a word in edgewise. And more than anything, observe if you have a habit of cutting them off in mid-sentence. When people do that, it basically translates into “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry up and finish because what I have to say is more important.” (Basically it’s arrogant and just plain rude.)

Mistake #2: Being distracted. Unless you’re a doctor on-call or a parent, is there really a good enough reason for having your smartphone on the table or to not turn off your notifications? Whatever picture your best friend just posted up on their Instagram or whatever text your co-worker sent you, it can wait. Quality time consists of giving someone your undivided attention. You can’t do that when you’re distracted.

Mistake #3: Ignoring your body language. We actually shared an article on body language not too long ago (you can check it out here) because we’re firm believers that you can say a lot…without saying a thing. If you’re rolling your eyes (or not making eye contact), if you’re pursing your lips or you’re talking the entire time with your arms folded, none of these things send the warmest of signals. We’re not saying to be super-conscientious. We’re just saying that it’s always a good idea to be aware of what your face and body are doing; especially while you’re in the midst of engaging someone new.

Mistake #4: Not treating customer service well. You might be treating your date with the utmost care and respect. But if you’re short with your server, you don’t tip or you’re impolite to the individuals around you, your date is going to take note. For one thing, it comes off as if you may have a side to your personality that you’re hiding (not good). Secondly, it can appear as if you’re vain and pretentious (even worse). It’s always a good idea to keep in mind that the sign of good character is how you treat everyone around you; not just the ones that you’re consciously trying to impress.

Mistake #5: Avoiding any kind of affection. No, we’re not talking about sex. That is totally your call and we definitely get why you may not want to rush into anything that serious. What we mean is it’s OK to touch your date’s had while you’re talking, to flirt or to kiss them on the cheek (or even offer a peck) at the end of a date. People want to feel comfortable when they’re on a date; like the person they’re spending time with is not building up walls but are actually letting some down. One way to “let someone in”, even if it’s in moderation, is to be affectionate. Not just physically affectionate but verbally too. Be affirming. Be complementary. Be the kind of person you would want to go out on a date with. It’s the Golden Rule for real dating success!

Unrealistic Expectations: 5 Things to Not Expect from a First (or Second) Date

If you’ve never heard of the website Statistic Brain before, basically it’s a popular website that provides statistical data on just about everything that you can imagine; including dating. Last spring, they posted an article on online dating and one of their findings indicated that a whopping 71 percent of people believe in love at first sight.

Maybe it’s because individuals still believe in romance (that’s a good thing, by the way). Maybe it’s because romantic comedies continue to put smiles on folks’ faces. Maybe people have a family member or co-worker who has a story of how their relationship started out that way. Shoot, it could even be that a lot of individuals have tuned in to watch the first two seasons of FYI’s Married at First Sight.

Whatever the case may be, being that almost three-fourths of people still feel that it can happen, this leads us to believe that there are a lot of hopefuls who find themselves having some pretty unrealistic expectations on their first---or even second---date.

Why? Because although love at first sight is awesome…

It tends to be pretty rare.

That’s why we wanted to take out a moment to share with you a list of five things. Things that it’s OK to be (quietly) hopeful for during the first few dates, but at the same time are things that you should flat-out expect.

To expect to hear “I love you”. Yes, in the movies, it’s sweet to hear an “I love you” (or at least an “I think I love you”) after a first date or a one night stand but let’s be real. It takes knowing a person to be able to know if you love them and that’s not going to happen in a short amount of time. So, no matter how much you would love to hear those three magical words, make sure that you hearing it and someone saying it is much more than merely being in love with love.

To expect to hear “You’re the one”. Let’s really think about what being “the one” really means. It basically means that out of all of the people on the planet (or at least your own social circle), you have found the person who best complements your personality, goals and lifestyle. And how could you possibly know that after the first couple of dates?!? Being “the one” is a sentiment that really needs to be reserved for when you and someone else are getting closer to exploring a long-term commitment or marriage because then those words can be backed up with substantial action. That brings us to the next point.

To expect your date to bring up marriage. Another cool thing about using a professional matchmaking service or even filling out an online dating profile is you can get a good gauge for if someone is interested in a long-term commitment or not before ever meeting them. But either way, don’t expect marriage to be a big part of the conversation on the first or second date. The first date is usually about getting a lot of formalities out of the way and the second date is about reaching a certain comfort level with one another. By bringing up marriage during that time…that can definitely disrupt the natural flow of things (to say the least). It’s a topic that should happen…naturally. It shouldn’t be forced in any way.

To expect your date to want to see you all of the time. So the first and second date are awesome! The chemistry is there. Conversations continue to flow smoothly. You both mention seeing each other again and you might even get a “good night” text at the end of each date or a “good morning” text the next day. That’s awesome. It really is. But don’t mistake excitement for commitment. By that we mean, just because you and your date like one another, they shouldn’t be expected to do the same things that come with actually being in a relationship. Having a great date and not hearing from them continuously doesn’t mean there isn’t real relationship potential there. It simply means that love takes time; that it’s something that shouldn’t be rushed.

To expect your date to want to be exclusive. Frankly, we’d be concerned if you told us that you went on one date with someone and the person suddenly said that they didn’t want you to see anyone else but them. In order for a relationship to be truly healthy, there needs to be a season of dating before it should ever transition into an exclusive situation. For this reason, please keep in mind that no matter how much you want to have a one-on-one relationship, you’ll be doing you and your date a disservice by expecting it before either of you is ready or sure. Bottom line, take your time. Enjoy the getting to know each other process. And remember that when it comes to dating, it’s OK to have expectations. Just make sure that you do your best to keep them realistic.

Faking It: 5 Signs You're Hiding Your True Self While Dating

Ask anyone from your closest married friend to the best professional matchmaker on the market and they’re going to tell you that it’s normal---and even advisable---to want to put your best foot forward when you’re starting a new relationship. After all, it’s those first initial impressions that tend to last a really long time.

However, it’s one thing to want to present yourself in a great light.

It’s another thing entirely to want to hide your true self.

The purpose of dating is for two people to spend time together in order to see if they can take things to the level of something more serious (and hopefully lasting). Therefore, it’s never a good idea to be so scared of being authentic that you actually end up creating a whole ‘nother persona. The reason why is because if the person you’re seeing ends up falling in love with “the fake you”, you’re always going to have to be that person.

And you know what? Not only is it exhausting to do that, but it’s also totally unrealistic as well. Sooner or later, the real you is going to reveal itself and there’s no guarantee that they’re going to want to stick around once that happens.

And to tell you the truth, if things do play out that way, it’s understandable. They fell for someone who, in all actuality, doesn’t exist.

That’s why it’s best to avoid all of that drama from the very beginning; from date one.

If you’re curious about some of the telling signs that you might have a tendency to hide your true self while you’re dating---or that the person you are dating is doing it---here are five that you definitely should not ignore.

You don’t have an opinion. Although there aren’t a ton of people on the planet who want to establish a relationship with someone who is always confrontational or combative, it’s also pretty rare for folks to want to interact with individuals who don’t have much of an opinion at all. Say that your date brings up something going on in the news or pop culture and they ask you “So, what do you think about it?” Here’s the thing: they wouldn’t ask you if they didn’t want to know what you thought. Deflecting conversations by shrugging your shoulders and then asking them for their views may seem like you’re being accommodating. However, it usually conveys that your personality is pretty bland, even if that couldn’t be further from the truth. For this reason, speaking up works in your favor.

You defer to them on just about everything. Even if you were able to get past the first and second date without letting the real you come out, they might start to catch on around date three when they ask you what you want to do and you respond by saying things like “I’m happy with whatever you choose.” Even if that is literally the case, by stating what you find to be fun, that helps them to get to know you better. New relationships should have some spontaneity and diversity. It’s hard for that to happen unless both people are bringing their personal tastes to the table.

You ignore what’s bothering you. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t run down your list of pet peeves during your first date. But once you’re at the point where you both consider yourselves to be dating each other, it’s OK to speak up about things that really bother you. For example, if your date never seems to put their phone down during dinner and that’s the equivalent of fingernails on the chalkboard for you, don’t feel bad about letting them know. Actually, it’s only fair because if you’re quiet about it now, it sends the message that all is well. This means that if you do end up marrying them, you’re going to come off as controlling and also hard to deal with if you wait until then to voice your views.

You’re becoming bitter and resentful. Even if initially you think it’s a good idea to hide who you are, pretending is exhausting and eventually you’re going to be like that simmering pot that’s on the verge of boiling over! If every time you’re out on a date, you find yourself biting your tongue and becoming bitter and resentful as a direct result, this is a telltale sign that you’re keeping your real self at bay.

You put their wants and needs above your own. The more time that you spend with someone, the more you’re going to care about them. That’s completely normal and healthy. But when it gets to the point where your wants and needs are always put on the back burner just to keep the peace, that is when you’re headed towards being in the kind of relationship that is codependent at best and toxic at worst. Healthy relationships have a type of consistent mutuality where both people are getting what they need. But if you’re not sharing what’s important to you, it’s going to be hard for that to happen. Don’t do yourself, the person you’re dating and the relationship a disservice by holding back your personal relational requirements. Respect yourself and them enough to reveal who you truly are---so that real love has the best chance to develop!

When It's Still New: How to Handle ‘Special Days’ in a New Relationship

So, you’ve been on a few dates and you must admit that you really like this new person in your life. They’re smart. They’re funny. And you both have a lot of the same interests. And although you don’t want to jump the gun just yet, you wouldn’t be surprised if they could be “the one”. The thing is, you know that it’s too new---and too soon---to bring it up. It’s also too new---and too soon---to show them off to your family.

We totally get where you’re coming from but here’s the thing. When you’re in the dating game, finding the right person vary rarely happens on your own timetable. Meaning, you might be hooked up with someone through a friend right before your birthday or their birthday. Or, a professional matchmaker may hook you up with your perfect match right as Thanksgiving or Christmas rolls around.

If that’s the case, what do you do?

How do you observe those special days without appearing to move too fast?

Those are two excellent questions. Keeping these three tips in mind can help you to come off as sensitive about birthdays and holidays without going overboard---financially, emotionally or otherwise.

Their birthday: Don’t act like it’s not happening. If your date has a birthday coming up in the next week or so, the worst thing that you could possibly do is act like it’s not happening or avoid it altogether. Actually, look at it as an opportunity to get to know their character and expectation levels better. Don’t be shy. Simply say “So, you have a birthday coming up. Do you have any special plans?” There’s a chance that they might and if that’s the case, don’t suggest that they change them. Offer up a “Happy Birthday” and pick up a small gift to let them know they were in your thoughts. But if they don’t, make a suggestion within your budget and emotional comfort zone. For instance, “Would you like to go to dinner?” or “There’s a festival coming up the week after. We could consider it a belated birthday celebration.” Even if they decline, they will note the gesture. They will see that you put some thought into their needs and feelings which will definitely work in your favor.

Your birthday: Just be honest. So, what if it’s your birthday and you already have plans? You know the saying: “Honesty is the best policy.” If someone you’ve only known for a few weeks suddenly expects you to drop everything to spend your birthday with them, that’s a potential red flag (of them being a bit controlling or suffocating) to take note of. Besides, there is a tactful way to handle the issue if they happen to bring up doing something for your birthday: “I would love to hang out with you, but can we do it before or after my birthday? I’ve already made plans on the day that I can’t get out of. But any other time would definitely work.”

The holidays: Stay in communication. If both of you feel like you want to spend time with one another over the holidays, by all means do that. But if you’re not ready to (officially) let your family in on your new relationship, go your separate ways. Just make sure to stay in communication while you’re apart via phone, text or email. Maybe not every day, but at least on the actual holiday(s). As for Christmas, mutually set a price limit on a gift and try to keep it on the low end. That way, no one is feeling pressured to give a grand gesture but both individuals will feel thought about. Look at it this way: If you do things right and all goes well throughout the following year, you never know what the next holiday season will have in store for you both!

Date Selection: 5 Tips for Choosing Exciting Date Options

If someone were to ask you to sum up your dating life in one word and the one you chose was “boring”, then you’ve come to the right place! We’re firm believers that out of all of the things a dating experience should be, “boring” is definitely not one of them.

So here’s the deal. If you’re not currently seeing anyone (or seeing anyone seriously), have you ever considered using a matchmaking service like Tawkify before? Not only do they have an awesome reputation for having clients who go on repeat dates, but they are also becoming a fan favorite when it comes to choosing some really amazing dates for their clients to go on too! Dinner and a movie? That’s not even on the radar of their date plans. Not by a long shot.

But what if you’re already seeing someone, you both like one another and get along really well? What if the only thing that both of you really have “complain” about is the fact that your dates feel a bit monotonous? If that’s the case, there are some things that you can do to make your dating life a bit more exciting. It’s all about doing some research, creating a budget and being open-minded. With this combo, your dates can go from ho-hum to a thrill ride. Each and every time!

Plan ahead. One reason why so many couples resort to dinner and a movie is because they don’t really do a lot of planning ahead. Virtually every city has a community calendar that lists what’s going on, weeks in advance. Put forth the concerted effort to check out what concerts or festivals are coming up and then plan to go as a couple. Anticipation always produces a certain level of excitement.

Be each other’s “first”. By this we mean that you should both comprise a list of things that you’ve never done before and then select some things on the list that both of you would be interested in doing. For instance, if you’ve both never gone kayaking before, why not do it together? Or if you both have always wondered how to make sushi, create a date by going to a sushi making class. “Firsts” are always exciting and fun. Plus, they can create some really special memories for the two of you. That’s because every time you think of a certain activity, both of you will come to each other’s minds.

Create a few surprises. If you call your date and say “I’ve got an idea but it’s a surprise”, trust us, it’s not going to matter what “it” is! The curiosity is going to automatically create a certain level of excitement. And for the record, a surprise does not have to be expensive. You can pack a picnic for their lunch break or order all of their favorite movies On-Demand while serving their favorite snacks at your house. Surprises are always awesome because they send the message that the person you’re seeing was on your mind---and that you planned something special for them as a way to prove it.

Get out of your city. This is not something that we (necessarily) recommend you do on your first few dates. But if you’ve been seeing each other for a while (a few months), why not visit another city? It can be one that’s only a couple of hours of way and you can even make a day trip out of it, if you prefer. The ride together can give you time to converse and learn more about another. Plus, the intrigue about what’s in store in another city can definitely rev up the excitement meter.

Cultivate spontaneity. Although the word “spontaneous” literally means to be impulsive, that’s not such a bad thing when it comes to putting dates together. Every once and a while, call your date and recommend having breakfast food for dinner or going ice skating (at a sports center) in the summertime. By not always knowing what to expect (or when to expect it) from one another, that also is super exciting. And it can make the dating experience so enjoyable---for you both!

Younger Than You: What to Consider When Dating a Younger Person

Say that you hired a professional matchmaker to assist you with your dating life and while they were in the process of putting your profile together, they recommended a few people who were younger than you. No, not a couple of months younger but several years. How would you feel about that?

The reality is that although there used to be somewhat of a stigma surrounding older and younger individuals being in a relationship, no longer is it nearly as big of a deal as it used to be. Thankfully, now more people are simply interested in finding someone they are compatible with---someone who wants the same things out of a relationship as they do.

If dating a younger person is new to you, there are a few things to keep in mind, just so that you can feel comfortable about making the transition. So, before you decide to give your matchmaker the green light, take out a moment to consider the following five things first.

What kind of relationship do you want? If there is one major challenge that can sometimes come up while dating a younger person, it’s the fact that they might want a different kind of relationship than you do. For instance, if you’re 41 and they’re 32, you may be wanting to settle down fairly soon while they might still want to casually date. Sometimes different ages result in different seasons and stages of life. It’s a good idea to know which one you’re in before moving forward with a younger individual.

What are your personal interests and tastes? Say that the person you’re considering dating is 15 years younger than you. If they are just as interested as you are, first let us say “That’s awesome!” Just make sure to not forget that when you were in high school, they were still in diapers. That’s not meant to freak you out. It’s simply a reminder that you basically come from two different generations. This means that there’s a chance that you both may not like the same music or movies or have the same appreciation for pop culture. And you know what? That’s OK. Just make sure that you go into the relationship processing their interests as being “different” rather than “wrong” or “immature”.

What are you going to say to your family and friends? Even if you’re not skeptical, some people in your social circle probably will be. Sadly, a lot of potentially amazing relationships have ended up going sour just because the two people involved were far too concerned about what those around them thought. Dating a younger person requires a certain amount of self-confidence. Please make sure that you have it before starting this type of relationship.

What are your standards and expectations? This is something that you should ask yourself no matter how old the person is. But we’re mentioning it anyway because it can sometimes be easy to get caught up in the flattery and intrigue of dating a younger person to the point that you find yourself compromising your standards and minimizing your own expectations. As lucky as you might feel about who you are dating, remember that it should go both ways. They need to feel just as honored to be dating you too.

What are you doing it for? Motive speaks to outcome, more times than not. That said, if you’re dating someone younger to prove that “you’ve still got it”, while you might, that’s not the best reason to start a relationship. Everyone deserves to be liked for who they are as an individual regardless of their job, finances or yes, even their age. So, take out a moment and ask yourself if you’re dating a younger person for the right reasons. And the best reason should be that they are a great person who you’d like to get to know better. Simple as that.

Still Seeing Other People: 5 Benefits of Not Being ‘Monogamous’ in the Early Stages

Monogamy. Out of all of the words in the English language, it has got to be one of the most misdefined ones. Here’s why. When people have been dating one another for a while, what’s one of the questions that their friends or family members will oftentimes ask them: “Are the two of you monogamous?” right?

OK, so here’s where it gets pretty interesting: Have you ever looked up the actual definitions of monogamy? According to Dictionary, monogamy has nothing to do with dating. It actually means “marriage with only one person at a time” or “the practice of marrying only once during life”. Therefore, contrary to popular belief, until you decide to say “I do” to someone (gasp!), you’re not technically monogamous. No matter how serious your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend may be.

That’s why the better word to use for couples who decide to only date one another is probably “exclusive”. Yet even when it comes to that kind of dating status, getting there should be a process. Before two people basically decide to be a “hop, skip and jump” away from engagement and then marriage, there should be some time allotted to really get to know one another---your likes and dislikes, your goals and ambitions, your thoughts when it comes to marriage, children and what it takes to make a truly monogamous relationship work. And last.

For all of these reasons, it’s our humble opinion that people should not rush to be monogamous---excuse us, exclusive---during the early stages of their dating relationship and we’re pretty sure that marriage counselors, relationship coaches and professional matchmakers would all agree. And yes, there are actually a few benefits that come with being open to seeing more than one person during that time. After reading some of them, you might realize how great it really is to take things slow. To not become exclusive until you can say for sure that you know…that there is only one person meant for you.

The pressure’s off. Deciding to only see one person before you’re absolutely sure that you want to (or are ready to) can result in you putting more pressure on yourself than you can actually handle. It’s important to remember that with exclusivity, there come certain expectations like not dating other people and being more readily available. If the thought of both of those things basically freaks you out, it’s not time for you to be in exclusive relationship. Not just yet.

You can be really honest with each other. When you’re in an exclusive relationship, you tend to be really invested in what the other people wants or needs, even if it differs from what is on your own list. But when people jump into an exclusive relationship too quickly, they oftentimes end up not making their own desires a priority. That’s because they are so focused on making the other person happy and not hurting their feelings. The problem with this is that over time, it can breed resentment and that’s not healthy for any relationship. By not being exclusive too early on, you have the freedom to be really honest about you’re looking for and what your expectations are. If you’re both on the same page, cool. If not, no love is lost. You can be friends as you both look for more of what you’re actually looking for.

You have the freedom to choose. Here’s what we mean by that. The actor Mark Ruffalo once said “I ran to my marriage. I was happily ready to take on marriage.” Now does this sound like someone who’s making ball-and-chain jokes about his relationship? It’s one thing to feel like you have to be with someone. It’s another thing entirely to assess your options and then make a conscious choice all on your own to be exclusive. Seeing other people in the early stages of dating someone new affords you the ability to transition into exclusivity because you want to; not because you feel like you have to.

Sex can be put on the backburner. A wise man once said “Sex will make you ‘love’ someone you don’t even like.” Translation: Great sex can be easily confused for being a great relationship if you engage in it too quickly. That said, if you’re someone who cares about taking care of your health (let alone your heart), you’re not going to want to sleep with multiple people at once. So, the time that you’re not having sex with someone new, that is the time you can spend getting to know one another better, both mentally and emotionally. That’s always a major plus when you’re creating the foundation for your relationship.

It will be truly special once it does happen. An exclusive relationship is nothing to be taken casually. It’s a significant season for two people. By allowing it to happen organically and being confident in your choice once it does, the relationship will be that much more special once there is mutual exclusivity. You can enter into it with total peace of mind. And absolutely no regrets.

Body Language: 7 Things You May Be Saying---in Silence

Have you ever heard that 80 percent of communication is actually non-verbal? Yep, it’s true and definitely something that you should keep in mind whenever you’re going on a date with someone (especially if it’s a first date).

Here’s why: No matter how visually appealing you may be or how great you are with words, if your body language is “off”, you can still end up sending out the wrong messages. Ones that could convey to your date that either you are not interested or it’s not best for them to pursue another date with you.

So, what are some of the not-so-great signals that your body may be giving, perhaps without you even knowing it? Here are seven things that you could be saying, in silence, that are conveying loud and clear that your date should move on.

Head nodding. When you’re in the midst of having a conversation with someone, it’s actually pretty normal to nod your head. It’s basically a non-verbal way of acknowledging what they are saying. But if you’re bobbing your head up and down a lot, well, that usually translates into you being impatient and wanting them to hurry up and finish whatever it is they have to say. Bottom line, a slow nod is good. A fast one? Eh, not so good.

Rolling your eyes. Although most people know that the rolling of the eyes conveys basically an “Oh brother” kind of message, some people don’t realize just how much they do it. When your date is sharing their views about various news topics or even if they’re telling you a story about a personal experience that they had, if you’re rolling your eyes in response, it tends to come off as patronizing. Also, according to many body language experts, it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that if you look to the left a lot, it tends to convey that you’re trying to recall something. On the other hand, if you look to the right, it tends to mean that you’re not being totally truthful. Yep, to the left it is.

Chewing gum. Even if chewing gum is one of your favorite things to do, opt for a mint instead when you’re on a date. Aside from the fact that the sound of smacking gum can be pretty annoying, when you’re chewing gum (or biting your lip or grinding your teeth), you’re basically conveying that you’re tense. And that could cause your date to be a bit on edge as well as a direct result.

Crossing your arms. Some people cross their arms because it makes them feel more comfortable. Others do it simply because they are chilly. But when someone is looking at you and your arms are crossed, it basically looks like you’re putting up your guard; that you have placed sort of a wall between the two of you. Once you and your date get to know one another better, doing this will probably not be that big of a deal. But on your first couple of dates, try and be conscious of not doing it. That way, you’ll look more open to what they are saying and the possibility of where things could go.

Purse on your lap. OK, this one is specifically for the ladies. If you don’t like leaving your purse on the floor (understandable), then try hanging it on the back of your chair or putting it into an empty seat. Whatever you do, don’t put it on the table (it may block you and your date’s view or prove to be an obstacle for your server) and definitely don’t put it on your lap. When your purse is in front of your chest, it will make you look nervous. Even if that is the case, it’s better to say it than to send all kinds of messages via your body language. The main reason being is that, like sneezing, nervousness tends to be contagious. (For the record, and this goes for girls and guys, holding a drink in front of you with both hands conveys the same nervous message too.)

Finger pointing (or wagging). While growing up, your parents or teacher(s) may have told you that putting your finger in someone’s face was rude. And you know what? They were right. Not only is it rude but it also makes you appear aggressive. And if you’re wagging your finger at someone, it looks like you are warning them of something. Even if you think that you’re pointing your finger as a way to emphasize what you are saying, do your best to not point it specifically into your date’s direction or face. In fact, if you were to speak with a professional matchmaker about the importance of body language, they would probably recommend that you try and avoid this action altogether.

Crossed legs. Yeah ladies. We know that if you have on a pair of killer stilettos, you may want to cross your legs in order to show them off. But when you do that, it actually shows signs of caution and also disinterest. For both men and women, it’s best to uncross your legs. Also, if you point them into the direction of your date, you appear more relaxed and open---the perfect body language signals.

We know, right? Who knew that body language could speak so loudly! Hopefully, this will help you to be more aware of your own body language and what it’s saying the next time you go on a date. Good luck!

Third Date Milestone: 6 Things to Discuss on Your Third Date

Yeah. We’re pretty sure that you’ve heard of the “three date rule” before. There are a lot of people who set that as a personal milestone for when they’re ready to engage in sexual intimacy with the person they are dating.

However, this article isn’t about that. At least not specifically.

When it comes to that unofficial rule, we will agree with it in the sense that if you’ve gone on a second date with someone, that is usually an indication that both of you are pretty interested in one another (that’s why matchmaking companies like Tawkify are proud of the fact that over 80 percent of their clients end up going on a second date with one another). And if the second date goes well, a third date sends the message that something very promising is happening.

That’s why if you’re preparing to go on a second date with someone, it’s important that you’re intentional about taking things up a notch.

We’re not saying that it’s time to start picking out engagement rings and baby names. But it is a good idea to bring up a few topics to see if this could be the relationship that you’ve always been looking for or if you’d probably be better off being just friends. (Good friends but just friends nonetheless.)

So, what are the things that you should be open to discussing on your third date? Here’s our “six list”:

Are you looking to be in a relationship? You’d be surprised how many people have absolutely no problem casually dating (multiple people, we might add) for months on end without it going any further than that. So yes, on your third date, you are well within your rights to ask your date if they’re interested in having a relationship. Just remember that there is no right or wrong answer to this question. You’re simply asking so that you can gain an understanding about if they want what you do.

When’s the last time you were in a relationship? If you can avoid dating someone who is on the rebound, we highly recommend it. The only way to know that is by asking your date about the last time they were in a relationship. If it's only been a few weeks since their last break-up, that doesn’t automatically mean that you should stop seeing them. What it does mean, though, is that you should definitely take things slower both emotionally and sexually. A break-up is like a wound that needs time to heal. Plus, people are usually not able to make the best decisions about what’s right for them in a new relationship until they’ve resolved an old (the last) one.

Do you have time for a relationship? Even if the person you’re dating wants to be in a relationship, that doesn’t always mean that they have the kind of time to invest in the type of one that you may want. For instance, if you desire to go out on dates every weekend and they work a second job, that, in time, could prove to be a bit frustrating. Discussing one another’s schedules is a courteous thing to do. It will also help you to gain a greater understanding of what you can/should expect in the future.

Who are the closest people to you? You can find out a lot about a person by listening to them talk to you about their family members and friends. People whose parents are still happily married may help to give you a sense of stability. People who’ve had the same best friend since high school may speak to their level of loyalty. People who are close to their siblings might help you to feel like they are sensitive and embrace family life. Yep. It’s always a good idea to know about the person you’re dating’s other relationships. It can help you to learn more about them and that’s essential.

What are your sexual expectations? Some folks might think this is being too abrupt, but sex is a part of a relationship. Besides, if someone is trying to spend more and more time with you, this means that they want to get closer to you. This means that you should know just how close--and when. Can you just imagine what it would be like for a person who wants to be abstinent until marriage to try and maintain a relationship with someone who thinks that sex less than 2-3 times per week is a dry spell? This doesn’t mean that you have to say “So, are you looking to have sex tonight?” It simply means that once you hit three dates, it’s OK to share your personal stance on sex and the purpose that it serves for you.

What new things do you want to try? Once you’ve gotten some of the heavier things out of the way, don’t forget to ask about what they’d like to do (preferably with you) that they’ve never done before. One of the best things about a budding relationship is it gives you the opportunity to not only experience a new individual but hopefully associate them with trying some new things too. Dinner and a movie is so cliché and by the third date, you’ve probably already done it. On the fourth date, do something fun, exciting and unique. It’s a surefire way to take your dating relationship to another level. In an enjoyable, lighthearted and yet productive kind of way.

6 Things to Bring Up on Your Second Date

So, you made it to your second date, eh? Although you might not think that you’ve accomplished a major feat, a lot of matchmaking companies can personally vouch for the fact that if you’ve had a successful first date, that is something to be pretty happy about. Not only does it mean that you’ve obviously made a great first impression; a second date also shows signs of a connection being established too.

Now that all of the initial introductions have been made, it’s time to scratch a bit beneath the surface. After all, dating is not just about hanging out with another individual (you can do that with your friends!). Dating is about investing time into another person in order to see if there is a potential relationship that can come from it.

That’s why, before heading out on your second date, it’s a good idea to have a few questions in mind. Ones that can help you to see if this is the kind of person you want to get to know better on a romantic level, is the kind of person who should be no more than a friend or is the kind of person where the second date also needs to be the final date. (Here’s hoping for Door #1, by the way!)

What are you looking for? Off top, this question might appear to be “What are you looking for in a person?” but actually we mean “What are you looking for a relationship?” Some of you might have caught the movie That Awkward Moment (Zac Efron, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan) where in the beginning, Zac’s character had a girl break up with him only for him to say to himself “I had no idea we were actually in a relationship.” You know the drill, perception is reality and you don’t want to spend six months thinking that you’re heading towards something serious while the person you’re seeing is taking the casual approach. Knowing that you both want the same kind of relationship helps to set a firm foundation.

What are you passionate about? A common question that folks tend to ask on dates is “So, what do you do for a living?” But basically all of us know at least one person who has a job but is not pursuing their actual passion. Two great things can come from asking someone this question: One, you can gain some pretty profound insight into their loves and interests. Secondly, most individuals find this to be a thoughtful approach to a conversation. You’ll get at least a couple of smiles and twinkle of the eyes with this question. Guaranteed.

What are some of your favorite things? Everyone has favorite things. Favorite songs, favorite movies, favorite colors and quotes…favorite holidays and activities. This question helps you to learn an intimate side of the person you are on a date with without being too invasive. Plus, should the date go beyond a second one, you’ll have an idea of what they like to do and see. It can actually make planning future dates a lot easier.

What are your pet peeves? You’d be amazed how many married couples are considering divorce court right at this very moment because “the little things” have suddenly become pretty big ones. Asking your date what their pet peeves are is basically a lighthearted kind of way of asking them what gets on their last nerve. Is it people who eat and talk at the same time? Is it people who text while at the table? Maybe it’s individuals who go on and on about themselves. The sooner you know theirs and they know yours, the more proactive you both can be when it comes to avoiding these little irritants when you’re together.

What’s your schedule like? There are a lot of people who really like each other, but are not able to spend as much time together as they would like due to conflicting schedules. If your date has a day job while you work at night or both of you have weekend gigs, that could ultimately prove to be pretty frustrating. Finding out when and how to make the dating thing happen is paramount.

What would you like to do next time? Say that you were to find a date through a professional matchmaking company like Tawkify. If you were to ask a matchmaker about another question that you should ask on a second date, if the date went well, as it’s coming to an end, don’t be shy about asking what they would like to do the next time. It shows interest and also initiative. These are both big pluses when it comes to letting your date know that you’d like to get to know them even better. That you want another date. And another. And another.

Title or No? What to Think About Before Putting a 'Name' on Your Relationship

When you were a child, there’s a pretty good chance that either you wrote or received a note that said “Will you be my boy/girlfriend?” followed by a box to check “yes” or “no”. And perhaps that’s a big part of where we got that idea to give relationships titles. Maybe that’s why, even as adults, they are so important to us.

Or, it could be because a title is what gives us a sense of belonging and purpose; not as individuals, but as it directly relates to the relationship that we’re in. After all, if there isn’t one attached, how do we know if we’re “just friends” or “dating” or “more than friends”? Basically, how do you know if your relationship has a real future? Or not.

If you’re currently dating someone new and it looks like it could be headed somewhere, we’re pretty sure that at one point or another, the topic of titles is going to come up. Hopefully, we can provide you with a few things to think about before you decide to give what you and the person you’re interested in a name…or more specifically, a title.

Think about what titles represent. In the English language, there are so many words that have different meanings. And when it comes to the dating world, our opinion is that “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are two of them. Some people think those words simply mean that two people are spending a significant amount of time together while others feel like it is basically a hop, skip and jump away from engagement and then marriage. So, if you’re someone who prefers to use titles, it’s recommended that you and the person you’re seeing discuss what each word personally means to each of you. That way, you can know whether or not you’re on the same page; even before you start using them.

Think about why you need one. There are some people who are so consumed with wanting to put a title on their relationship that they don’t realize that it’s also putting pressure on the person they are seeing. In other words, if every other conversation basically consists of “So, what is this?” or “What would you call what we’re doing?” you might end up missing out on allowing things to grow and mature in a natural and organic kind of way (the best kind of way, we feel). That’s why it’s a good idea to really stop and ask yourself why having a title to your relationship is so necessary to you. If you need it in order to feel important, special or validated, that might be about more than the title. Some soul-searching and self-reflection may be required because a person can make you feel that way without any titles. But if you want one simply for clarification that both of you are moving at a similar pace and have similar intentions, a title may be what is required.

Think about the responsibility that comes with having a title. Ask just about anyone from your closest friend to a professional matchmaker about this and one of the things that they’ll probably tell you about titles is that you should be prepared for the responsibility that comes with them. This would include the public perception that people tend to have. For instance, if you both only said that you were dating, people would not expect much. On the other hand, if you did decide to make the declaration that you are going to be exclusive, in comes the watching eyes, the “So, when are you getting married?” questions and even sometimes the unwanted social media checks to make sure that you both are what you claim to be (monogamous). If you and the person you’re seeing doesn’t mind all of the scrutiny, that’s great. But if you would prefer to explore your relationship without being so much in “the public eye”, you might be better off chilling on the whole title concept. So long as the two of you know what you have, that’s what’s most important anyway. Title or not.

Pace Yourself: 5 Signs That You May Be Moving Too Fast

You know the saying: “The truth shall set you free.” Well, the truth is that if you were to get a group of people together and ask them for one of the main reasons why the beginning stages of their relationship didn’t work out with someone, we’re willing to bet that one of the things they would mention is “They were moving way too fast.”

We get it. There’s nothing quite like the feeling that comes from meeting someone who you’re not only physically attracted to but are mentally drawn in by. However, having a great couple of first dates does not a marriage proposal make. In fact, thinking that way is what can send you on the road to relational sabotage faster than you can call your friends to say you’ve met “the one”.

So, what are the clear indicators that you are probably moving faster down Lover’s Lane than you probably should? Here are five that you should definitely keep in the forefront of your mind:

You have no problem giving up the goods on the first (or second) date. No judgment, but it really is best to wait a while before having sex. For one thing, you need to know what your date’s physical health is like (a condom is not 100 percent full-proof). Not only that, but sex too soon can also cloud your judgment. Suddenly you’ll be thinking that you’re in love with the person when really you’re just in lust with the sex. Ask any professional matchmaker worth their salt and they’ll tell you that good sex does not automatically equal a good relationship. Your body is valuable. You’re worth having some emotional investing made before your date receives any physical rewards.

You bring up marriage on the first five dates. OK, we’re not saying that you can’t (or shouldn’t) talk about marriage in the general sense like “Yeah, I’d like to get married someday” or “So, are your parents married?” We mean that if you are telling them that you can see your future children in their eyes before you even know their middle name, you’re probably going to freak them out. Yes, there are some couples who’ve literally professed love at first sight and gotten married weeks later, but they are so the exception and not the rule. Marriage speaks to the culmination to a dating relationship. The transition from one season to the next. Don’t try and skip over the here and now. There’s a lot of fun that can come from simply dating. Relax and enjoy it. Especially if it’s only the first, second or fifth date.

You’re talking about your relationship online. There are a lot of people (celebrities included) who will tell you that one of the biggest mistakes that they made was sharing too much about their relationship via the internet. She may be gorgeous. He may be super cute. You may feel an instant connection between you and them and that’s awesome. Still, please keep that off of your Facebook status. Instead, call your friends or text them a picture. But until you know for sure that your dating situation is headed towards full-blown relationship status, keep the news (social media) quiet. And even then, proceed with caution.

You want to say “I love you” before “I like you”. It’s a question that all of us can stand to ask ourselves before even going on our first date with someone. “Are we looking for love? Or are we simply in love with love?” People who are in love with love tend to not enjoy, and thereby avoid, taking things slow. They like the euphoric feelings that come with being in a relationship and so “I love you” is less of a declaration and more of an emotional “fix”. You have all of the time in the world to be in love. Not only that but the early stages of dating are necessary. They help you to see if you’re “in like” first. And just ask any married couple who’s been together for more than 10 years. “In like” is just as important in order to maintain a long-lasting relationship.

You’re told that you’re moving too fast. It may sound elementary now, but it happens all of the time. If your date is telling you “Hey, I like you but this is moving a bit too fast for me”, don’t try and over-analyze it. Take what they’re saying at face value. At the same time, don’t take your bike and stomp off of the dating playground either. Hearing that you’re moving too fast is not a “red light” (stop). It’s more like a yellow one (slow down). Your date is simply saying that they want more time to get to know you better and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Moving too fast can result in you missing out on some of the joys and surprises that come with dating. Ones that come with taking one step at a time.

Smartphone Etiquette: How to Date with a Cell Phone

If you’re over the age of 35, you probably remember what it was like to date (as a teenager or young adult) without a cell phone. Ah yes. Back in the days when you only had a landline and if you had wealthy parents, maybe a car phone (and that’s a really big maybe!).

These days, even 10-year-olds have cell phones. Excuse us, smartphones. This basically means that not only are we accessible to everyone who has our phone number at any time of the day or night, but we also have internet access too. This makes it extremely easy to hop onto our Facebook and Instagram (and our dating apps) to see what’s happening at any given moment.

Being that people with smartphones know this about themselves, this means that they also know it about other people who have smartphones too. And that can make for some really interesting dating situations.

So to spare you the potential drama that can come from dating while owning a smartphone, here are five etiquette tips that can come in really handy. (Make sure to put your smartphone on notice.)

Put your phone on vibrate while on a date. It’s (kinda) funny how many of us will overlook two very important features on our smartphones: text and voicemail. Look, just because someone calls you, that doesn’t mean that you have to answer. If it’s an emergency, they’ll probably send a text about what’s going on. If not, they can leave a voicemail and you can get back to them---once your date is over. Constantly answering calls during a date sends an awful message that your date is not a top priority. And you don’t want to do that because it’s pretty hard to cozy up to a smartphone at night. Yeah, if you simply can’t imagine leaving your phone in your car, at least leave it on vibrate.

Step away from the social media alerts. If your smartphone is set to where you constantly receive alerts from your social media accounts, turn those off while you’re on a date too. Your mom making your favorite dinner, taking a picture of it and posting it on Instagram or your friend sending you some random Snapchat of someone they met in a bar can wait. There are studies which indicate that people spend as much as 16 minutes of each hour on their social media accounts. Nothing (NO-THING) is that important on your Facebook or Twitter. Post your dating selfie right at the end of your date. Everything else can wait until you get home.

Be aware of your social media accounts. One thing about smartphones is people can find out a whole lot (and we mean, a whole lot) about you in less than an hour. They can Google you. They can check your Facebook and Instagram. They can go to dating apps like Tinder, Loveflutter, Coffee Meets Bagel or countless others to see if you have an account. That said, remember that dates are a lot like job interviews and people you are dating are a lot like employers. So, if there’s something on your accounts that would paint you in not the best kind of light, either delete it or bring it up on your date. You don’t owe them an explanation but trust us, coming from you, it would certainly be appreciated. And more times than not, will work in your favor too.

Respond to texts in a timely fashion. Here’s a tip for after the date is over. If you’re interested in things going to another level with the person you are dating, nothing sends the complete opposite message like not responding to their text(s). That’s not to say that you have to reply immediately. But if after the date, they send a text that night to say they had a good time, try and reply before retiring for the evening. And at the very least, by noon the next day. And whatever you do, don’t let more than 24 hours go by. Ignored texts are rude, plain and simple. Plus, it only takes like 30 seconds to a minute (depending on how fast you type) to say “Thanks. I had an awesome time too!”

Use your smartphone to actually (get this) make phone calls! Yes, we’re yelling out this particular point because a professional matchmaker, a relationship coach and shoot, even your grandmother would tell you that if you only text your date, sooner or later, that’s going to become a problem. An author by the name of Ruthie Dean penned a book a couple of years ago entitled Real Men Don’t Text: A New Approach to Dating. OK, that’s a bit extreme but we certainly get her point. It’s ironic that cell phones were invented to make calls and now it’s one of the last things that they’re used to do. Even in this ever- evolving technological age, people still want to feel like they’re making a connection. For this reason, don’t let a week go by without actually dialing the person you’re dating’s number. It’s the courteous and “I’m-over-16-now” thing to do.

Attracted or Compatible: 5 Ways to Know the Difference

Love at first sight. The truly hopeful believe that it exists. The somewhat cynical thinks that it only happens in the movies. As for the realists, they tend to think that the truth lies somewhere in between both individuals.

Yes, there are times when two people will see each other and either A) automatically know that they are destined to be together or B) one of them will get the inkling that a real connection is within the near future.

But sometimes---more times than not, in fact---people will confuse physical attraction with true mental and emotional (and spiritual) compatibility. And when that happens, sometimes lust is mistaken for love, which can result in a lot of disappointments and quite possibly a relationship that fizzles out before it can really get started.

Thankfully, there are some ways to determine if what you and your date feel for one another is simply an attraction or there really is something more. Curious to know how? Here are five failsafe ways.

Attracted: All you can think about is how good they look. Hey, who doesn’t want to be out on a date with someone they find to be super attractive? Even a professional matchmaker will admit that a part of their job consists of creating a great first impression for their clients. But a good looking person is basically like wrapping paper on a present. You need more than that in order to make a relationship work and last. So, if all that you can think about is how you can’t wait to get home to tell your friends who “fine” your date is, if it’s past your first date with them, you may be more attracted than anything else. And sorry, but a shallow surface connection can only go but so far.

Compatible: You have similar values and beliefs. Many people believe that religion and politics are two things that should not be discussed (especially as you’re getting to know someone). However, we feel that it’s OK to talk about these things so long as they’re in the lane of “sharing” and not debating. Meaning, it’s fine to talk about what religion you might have been raised up in or a news story that you found to be interesting. Not only is it a way to spark up conversation, but if you hear a lot of “Really? Me too” or “Yeah, I feel the same way”, that can help to give you some sense of if you share similar values and beliefs. And yes, people who look at life the same way, they often are compatible on a lot of levels.

Attracted: Sex comes up. A lot. It’s one thing to flirt. It’s another thing to find yourself spending 50 percent (or more) of the time on your date talking about sex or even propositioning it. If one or both of you keeps seeming to bring up things like your hormones, your sex drive or if you’re finding ways to compare everything from your utensils to your chocolate dessert to sex, you probably have more of a physical attraction than much of anything else.

Compatible: You both want to be in a relationship. At the same time. For the same reasons. One of the best signs that you’re compatible with someone you’re seeing is if you both want the same things. Out of life? Yes, to a large extent. But more specifically, the same things from one another. A person who wants to date several people at one time is probably not going to mesh well with someone who’s looking for a marriage partner. But if both of you feel that you’re at a point and place in your life where casual dating is no longer a desire and monogamy is a goal, that’s a good compatibility sign.

Attracted and Compatible: Pay attention to how you talk about them. Ideally, you’ll want to be in a relationship with someone where you both feel that you are attracted and compatible to one another. One of the best ways to know if you are is by listening to how you describe the relationship to others. For instance, if you hear yourself saying things like “I think s/he is so attractive but that’s not what I like most about them. It’s their intellect or sense of humor or heart for others”, then you know that you’re not just into their appearance; there is something about their insides that captures you too. And when attracted and compatibility are happening at once, look out! You are well on your way to establishing a real connection. And that’s always good to know---and to have.