So, you’ve been on a few dates and you must admit that you really like this new person in your life. They’re smart. They’re funny. And you both have a lot of the same interests. And although you don’t want to jump the gun just yet, you wouldn’t be surprised if they could be “the one”. The thing is, you know that it’s too new---and too soon---to bring it up. It’s also too new---and too soon---to show them off to your family.
We totally get where you’re coming from but here’s the thing. When you’re in the dating game, finding the right person vary rarely happens on your own timetable. Meaning, you might be hooked up with someone through a friend right before your birthday or their birthday. Or, a professional matchmaker may hook you up with your perfect match right as Thanksgiving or Christmas rolls around.
If that’s the case, what do you do?
How do you observe those special days without appearing to move too fast?
Those are two excellent questions. Keeping these three tips in mind can help you to come off as sensitive about birthdays and holidays without going overboard---financially, emotionally or otherwise.
Their birthday: Don’t act like it’s not happening. If your date has a birthday coming up in the next week or so, the worst thing that you could possibly do is act like it’s not happening or avoid it altogether. Actually, look at it as an opportunity to get to know their character and expectation levels better. Don’t be shy. Simply say “So, you have a birthday coming up. Do you have any special plans?” There’s a chance that they might and if that’s the case, don’t suggest that they change them. Offer up a “Happy Birthday” and pick up a small gift to let them know they were in your thoughts. But if they don’t, make a suggestion within your budget and emotional comfort zone. For instance, “Would you like to go to dinner?” or “There’s a festival coming up the week after. We could consider it a belated birthday celebration.” Even if they decline, they will note the gesture. They will see that you put some thought into their needs and feelings which will definitely work in your favor.
Your birthday: Just be honest. So, what if it’s your birthday and you already have plans? You know the saying: “Honesty is the best policy.” If someone you’ve only known for a few weeks suddenly expects you to drop everything to spend your birthday with them, that’s a potential red flag (of them being a bit controlling or suffocating) to take note of. Besides, there is a tactful way to handle the issue if they happen to bring up doing something for your birthday: “I would love to hang out with you, but can we do it before or after my birthday? I’ve already made plans on the day that I can’t get out of. But any other time would definitely work.”
The holidays: Stay in communication. If both of you feel like you want to spend time with one another over the holidays, by all means do that. But if you’re not ready to (officially) let your family in on your new relationship, go your separate ways. Just make sure to stay in communication while you’re apart via phone, text or email. Maybe not every day, but at least on the actual holiday(s). As for Christmas, mutually set a price limit on a gift and try to keep it on the low end. That way, no one is feeling pressured to give a grand gesture but both individuals will feel thought about. Look at it this way: If you do things right and all goes well throughout the following year, you never know what the next holiday season will have in store for you both!