The nice guy. It’s a term that causes a lot of fellas (especially the nice guys) to sigh with the “So, here we go again” look on their face, while it also causes a lot of girls to roll their eyes with the “Can we please talk about something else?” attitude. Yeah, for whatever the reason, when it comes to dating, the nice guy tends to…not so much get a bad rap. It’s more like he doesn’t get much of a rap at all.
And you know what? That’s actually pretty sad. Yet it’s still a reality.
So, why is it that the nice guy oftentimes can’t get the props that he deserves? Is it that women automatically associate him with being the kind of nerdy and awkward guy who was “nice” but not super appealing in high school? Is it that women want a challenge and they feel like the nice guy isn’t much of one? Or is it simply that a lot of women haven’t really given the nice guy a chance because they oftentimes are focused on the dude who, quite frankly, is any and everything but nice.
Look, none of us are getting any younger. And if you happen to be a woman reading this, you can actually miss out on a really great relationship by telling your friend or a matchmaker who’s trying to hook you up “Yeah, he seems like he might be nice but…”
So, before you turn down yet another date with a really nice guy, here are some of the reasons why should actually reconsider:
Nice guys are kind men. When someone is kind, it means that they are considerate. It also means that they are gentle and helpful too. Now why should those traits be a turn-off? A guy who calls to check on you after you’ve had a hard day, a guy who speaks in a gentle tone, a guy who offers to help you to put your TV stand together or upgrade your computer software is someone who can only enhance your life. Ask any wife who’s been married five or more years or any woman who’s been divorced for that same amount of time and we’re willing to be that they’ll tell you that if you’ve met a kind man, when it comes to relationships, you’ve definitely hit the jackpot!
Nice guys are good listeners. Have you ever been on a date with a guy who only talks about himself? Or worse, whenever you try to get a word in, he tends to cut you off? While a lot of arrogant men are notorious for these traits, it’s not so much the case with the nice guy. He’s actually interested in what you have to say. Plus, being that listening is the key to communication and every relationship needs two good communicators in order for it to thrive, dating a good listener can only work in your favor.
Nice guys don’t underestimate the power of friendship. Honestly, a part of the reason why that is the case is because a lot of nice guys heard plenty of “You’re a really nice guy but…can we be just friends?” during their high school and quite possibly their college years too. And while all of us long to be in a relationship with someone where more than friendship is a part of it, nice guys have learned that there is real value to the foundation of friendship. As a result, they tend to allow their relationships to evolve gradually and organically. As relationships should.
Nice guys are proactive. Say that you do happen to have an affinity for another category of men: the handsome jerks (for the record, there are some really attractive nice guys on the planet too). And what qualifies “him” as being a jerk? He’s selfish. He’s inconsiderate. He doesn’t make you and your needs a priority. Being disappointed while in a relationship with this kind of guy is basically par for the course, and even if he does happen to apologize for his dating sins, he usually spends more time trying to make up for what he did wrong or didn’t do enough of than actually getting anything right. Missing your birthday and then sending you flowers? Reactive. Asking you two weeks in advance about what your favorite restaurant is so that the two of you can celebrate in style? Proactive. And you know what? Nice guys tend to be more proactive than reactive. (Chalk it up to the kindness factor.)
Nice guys live by the Golden Rule. Some people call it the Golden Rule while others call it karma. Either way, nice guys are usually on top of it. They tend to really take it to heart that you should treat people in the same way that you want to be treated. This means that they are going to return your calls because they want you to do that for them. This means that they are not going to lie to your face because they would hate it if you did it. This means that they are going to treat you with the utmost respect because that is something they long for in return. And the fact that all of this is even on their radar makes them pretty awesome people to be around.
Nice guys don’t run away from commitment. Although there are definitely some nice guys in the world who want to keep things casual, it’s more common to come across the ones who really do desire a relationship. The thought of having a steady girlfriend, a fiancé and eventually a wife does not freak them out. In fact, they tend to embrace it. So, if you’re wondering why all of the guys that you’ve been dating are not “relationship material”, ask yourself if you’ve ever considered the nice guy. If not, maybe, just maybe, now you will!