If you’ve tried an online dating site before with no success and/or if professional matchmaking services aren’t quite what you’ve hoped they would be (if that is the case, you might wanna try Tawkify), and all of the people closest to you know that you’re looking to get into a relationship, we’re happy that the title of this article has caught your attention.
We say that because most friends like to see their friends in love (especially if they are). So usually, when one of their friends is single, that sends them into overdrive when it comes to looking for the kind of person who will be just perfect for their buddy.
If you happen to fall in this category (meaning, you’re in “the single buddy”) and you’re a bit gun shy about letting your friends set you up with someone they know, here are some of the pros and cons that come with friend hook-ups. That way, you can remain open to the possibilities, while safely guarding your heart in the process (just in case things don’t work out).
PRO: They already know you (your friends, that is). One advantage to having a friend hook you up with someone is the fact that they personally know you. So, in some ways, they are a lot like a professional matchmaker that you can get to set you up, free of charge. As a bonus, if they’ve been in your life long enough to witness some of your previous relationships, they will already have an idea of the kind of people who are your type…as well as the ones who honestly aren’t.
CON: At the same time, they might think they know you better than you do yourself! Friends who want to play matchmaker can sometimes be a bit on the aggressive side. For instance, they might show you a picture of someone all the while claiming “They’re just perfect for you” even though you’ve already said that they are not physically your type. If you’re going to allow a friend to hook you up, just make sure to not let them bully you out of your own boundaries (and interests). Speak up for yourself. A true friend will respect that.
PRO: You can get a lot of information on the front end. When you’re using an online dating service (for instance), you are pretty much at the mercy of the profiles that you’re reading---and sometimes, they are not the most reliable sources of information. But when a friend is trying to hook you up, you can ask as many questions as you’d like, trusting that they are going to tell you that truth. And if they don’t, their body language will. (“So friend, if he’s ‘so cute’, why are you squirming in your seat and sighing?”)
CON: They might move ahead of your comfort zone. Don’t put it past a friend to ask “So, I’ll set it up? Cool!” and then have a double date ready for you within 48 hours. The moral to the story is this: If you’re going to let friend set you 9 up with someone, make sure that you are ready for the moment you say “go”. 9 times out of 10, you can best believe that they are going to move full speed ahead! If you need a couple of weeks to think it over, make sure that you say that. Otherwise, prepare to be on a date sooner than later.
PRO: Double dating can take the “edge” off. First dates always have the potential to be a bit awkward. But when your friend says “Y’all can even go on a date with me and my sweetie!” that can actually make it a lot easier. Being that your friend (and perhaps even their significant other) know the both of you, you won’t have to worry about dealing with things like awkward silence or how to smoothly transition from one topic to another. Your friend and their companion will be there to fill in the blanks.
CON: Breaking up can be hard to do. If things don’t mesh well after the first or second date, this “con” won’t be too much of an issue; that’s because you’re not emotionally attached (enough) yet. But if the relationship went for longer than a few months, your friend is thrilled about successfully making a love connection and things don’t work out…well, that could make things pretty awkward for all parties involved. With a professional matchmaker, they are trained in how to move on from a bad match. But a friend? Sometimes they end up taking the break up harder than you do, which means that you’ll have to find some time and energy to help them to “heal” too. Definitely something to keep in mind before allowing one of your friends to hook you up with someone!