6 Things to Bring Up on Your Second Date

So, you made it to your second date, eh? Although you might not think that you’ve accomplished a major feat, a lot of matchmaking companies can personally vouch for the fact that if you’ve had a successful first date, that is something to be pretty happy about. Not only does it mean that you’ve obviously made a great first impression; a second date also shows signs of a connection being established too.

Now that all of the initial introductions have been made, it’s time to scratch a bit beneath the surface. After all, dating is not just about hanging out with another individual (you can do that with your friends!). Dating is about investing time into another person in order to see if there is a potential relationship that can come from it.

That’s why, before heading out on your second date, it’s a good idea to have a few questions in mind. Ones that can help you to see if this is the kind of person you want to get to know better on a romantic level, is the kind of person who should be no more than a friend or is the kind of person where the second date also needs to be the final date. (Here’s hoping for Door #1, by the way!)

What are you looking for? Off top, this question might appear to be “What are you looking for in a person?” but actually we mean “What are you looking for a relationship?” Some of you might have caught the movie That Awkward Moment (Zac Efron, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan) where in the beginning, Zac’s character had a girl break up with him only for him to say to himself “I had no idea we were actually in a relationship.” You know the drill, perception is reality and you don’t want to spend six months thinking that you’re heading towards something serious while the person you’re seeing is taking the casual approach. Knowing that you both want the same kind of relationship helps to set a firm foundation.

What are you passionate about? A common question that folks tend to ask on dates is “So, what do you do for a living?” But basically all of us know at least one person who has a job but is not pursuing their actual passion. Two great things can come from asking someone this question: One, you can gain some pretty profound insight into their loves and interests. Secondly, most individuals find this to be a thoughtful approach to a conversation. You’ll get at least a couple of smiles and twinkle of the eyes with this question. Guaranteed.

What are some of your favorite things? Everyone has favorite things. Favorite songs, favorite movies, favorite colors and quotes…favorite holidays and activities. This question helps you to learn an intimate side of the person you are on a date with without being too invasive. Plus, should the date go beyond a second one, you’ll have an idea of what they like to do and see. It can actually make planning future dates a lot easier.

What are your pet peeves? You’d be amazed how many married couples are considering divorce court right at this very moment because “the little things” have suddenly become pretty big ones. Asking your date what their pet peeves are is basically a lighthearted kind of way of asking them what gets on their last nerve. Is it people who eat and talk at the same time? Is it people who text while at the table? Maybe it’s individuals who go on and on about themselves. The sooner you know theirs and they know yours, the more proactive you both can be when it comes to avoiding these little irritants when you’re together.

What’s your schedule like? There are a lot of people who really like each other, but are not able to spend as much time together as they would like due to conflicting schedules. If your date has a day job while you work at night or both of you have weekend gigs, that could ultimately prove to be pretty frustrating. Finding out when and how to make the dating thing happen is paramount.

What would you like to do next time? Say that you were to find a date through a professional matchmaking company like Tawkify. If you were to ask a matchmaker about another question that you should ask on a second date, if the date went well, as it’s coming to an end, don’t be shy about asking what they would like to do the next time. It shows interest and also initiative. These are both big pluses when it comes to letting your date know that you’d like to get to know them even better. That you want another date. And another. And another.

On the Fence: 6 Reasons to Go on a Second Date When You're Unsure

Wouldn’t it be awesome to go on a first date, feel an immediate mutual connection and know that you’ve met the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with by the time your server brings you the bill? Yeah, it would also be awesome to win the lottery or to be offered a free all-expenses paid vacation to another country too. The reality is things like this do happen; it’s just that they don’t happen often. Or to a ton of people.

When it comes to money, vacationing and yes, even finding true love, the majority of us have to work pretty hard to get what we want. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. A wise man once said that we tend to appreciate things more when we actually have to put some time, effort and energy into them.

That’s why, if you were to ask a professional matchmaker for a few tips on finding true love, one of the things that they would probably recommend is that you be patient with the initial dating process. For instance, if after going on a first date with someone, you don’t feel an immediate chemistry, one of the worst things that you could do is not go on a second date.

Yeah, on the surface this might sound crazy, but just hear us out.

When it comes to dating, sometimes the second (or third or even fourth) date really is the charm.

Go on a second date because there’s more than meets the eye. There’s only so much that you can get to know about a person in a couple of hours and you know what they say: It’s never a good idea to judge a book by its cover. So, if for no other reason, go on a second date because it puts more time on the clock for the both of you to become more familiar with each other. Who said that just because things didn’t “click” the first time that they won’t the second?

Go on a second date because you’ll be calmer. Even if you consider yourself to be an extroverted individual, you probably still felt a little anxious or nervous on your first date. That’s understandable being that you don’t really know the person. But once the initial date is out of the way, that helps to take some of the edge off. By the second date, you can be calmer, which means that you can be more comfortable engaging one another in conversation. And that can help you to discover more.

Go on a second date because you can select another venue. One of the main benefits in hiring a matchmaking company like Tawkify to assist you with your dating needs is they are experts in matching people and planning dates. But whether you go through a matchmaking service or not, another reason to go on a second date is it gives you the opportunity to try another venue which can totally change the ambiance and your attitude. For instance, if your first date was at a restaurant that didn’t have a menu that you were crazy about or it was at a concert where you couldn’t do much talking, a second date gives you an opportunity to switch the scene up at bit. That’s a good thing because when it comes to having a perfect date, the atmosphere definitely plays a significant part.

Go on a second date because you can talk more in between the date. Very rarely do people decide to go on a second date and not speak before time. So, if things were awkward on the first date, maybe you need a few days to do some communicating via phone, text or email. That way, you can get to know each other a bit better, which can make you more prepared both mentally and emotionally for the next time you are together.

Go on a second date because others can give you a perspective on the first one. If your date was set up through a professional matchmaker, they’re definitely someone you can talk to about how you felt about the first date. And because they are experts at bringing people together, they can provide you with a perspective that you wouldn’t be able to see on your own. The same goes for your friends. By getting an outside opinion, when you say things like “But their laugh is obnoxious” or “Their phone went off more than I would like”, you can get another point of view before making a final judgment call. And that other perspective may be just what you need to give your date another try.

Go on a second date because everyone deserves a second chance. It’s one thing to be totally repulsed by someone. It’s another to be somewhat unsure. It’s basically the difference between a “Heck no!” and a “Well, maybe.” No relationship is built in a day. Everyone deserves the opportunity to put their best foot forward, even if it is the second time around. If the first date went OK, but you’re not sure if you’re interested in taking things further, go on a second date. Look at it this way: By the end of that one, you’ll be more confident in your decision to take it further or not. Whether it’s a “Yes, I’d like to see you again” or it’s “No, but I enjoyed meeting you”, you’ll be able to walk away sure rather than unsure.