Mistletoe on a Budget: How to (Newly Date) During the Holiday Season

There used to be a time when, if a single person felt as if it looked like they were going to be single for the holidays (and they didn’t want to be), all they pretty much had to rely on was a set-up from a family member or friend (and sometimes, that can do more harm than good!). These days, thanks to the progression of technology, there are other options such as online dating or even investing in a professional matchmaker to help you out.

But whether you’re thinking about going on your first date during the holidays or you’re in a fairly new dating situation and you’re wondering how to go about it from now until New Year’s, you’ve come to the right place. There’s no way getting around the fact that the holiday season is a special, sentimental and super romantic one. But when you’re just starting to date someone, it’s OK to have certain boundaries---both emotionally as well as financially. That said, here are five tips for how to newly date, successfully so, during this truly wonderful time.

If it’s a first date, avoid family functions. There are probably going to be all sorts of things that you are going to be invited to, whether it’s at your job or via your family. If you’re thinking about asking someone on a first date, no matter how “cool” it might seem to bring them along, we encourage you to avoid that at all costs. A first date is simply a time for you and another individual to get more acquainted with each other. It doesn’t not guarantee an instantaneous love connection, though. You don’t want to bring someone along, have everyone fall in love with them, only for it not to work out---and you have to hear about how awesome the individual was for weeks to come. In short, opt for other plans. Ones that do not include those who are closest to you.

Try and not make a date on a holiday. Hey, we’re not trying to be Scrooge or the Grinch or anything. We just know that a lot of emotions tend to go into the holiday season, so going on a date on Christmas Eve or even New Year’s Eve can be…a lot on the heartstrings if it’s a first, second or third date. To avoid any misconceptions, try to set the first few dates for days that fall around the holidays rather than on them. Trust us, you’ll be glad (perhaps even relieved) in the long run if you do.

Get “tokens”, not gifts. Unless you’ve been seeing each other, consistently, for more than three months, don’t put the pressure on either one of you to get a gift. For one thing, until you’re absolutely sure about how you feel towards one another, the right gift could send the wrong impression. Secondly, if you’re already on a tight budget when it comes to getting a plane ticket to fly home and picking up presents for your family, it doesn’t make sense to spend more than you have on a person you’re just getting to know (romantically). So, talk to them about skipping gift exchanges altogether or give each other a gag gift or a small token with a strict price limit. That way, no one will be disappointed due to let down expectations. Plus, if all goes well, it can build up anticipation for the next holiday season.

Shoot for Valentine’s Day. So, what if everything is going well and while it’s all still new, you do see a future for you and the person you’re with? That’s awesome! It really is. And the good news is Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s (with all of the “Eves” interwoven in between) are not the only holidays on the calendar. Waiting for Valentine’s Day to take things public with your family, spend more money, plan a trip or even let the social media world know that you are together is wise on a few levels. For one thing, having more time on your side to get to know one another can never hurt. Secondly, the holiday season has a reputation for being quite euphoric. By allowing the high energies settle a bit, you can let the six weeks or so between New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day help you to see the reality of your relationship. If you feel as strongly in mid-January as you did over Christmas, then use February 14 as the perfect moment to commemorate that fact. Look at it this way, it will give you and your “potential yours” something to look forward to!

So Not Interested: 5 Things That Can Turn Your Date Off

Question. Have you ever been on a date with someone before who was attractive, smart and funny and yet they still turned you off? But here’s the thing: in hindsight, you could never really put your finger on why. You basically chalked it up to there being no chemistry or your professional matchmaker somehow missing something while filling out your profile information.

If you totally get where we’re coming from, we’re glad that you’re checking this article out.  Although it would take an entire book to cover all of the things that can turn someone off on a date, we do have five that may help you to pinpoint what your own dating pet peeves are. Plus, by seeing these things in black and white, it may also prevent you from being the kind of person who causes the individual you’re on a date with to give you some serious side-eye.

Check these out:

Being rude to those around you. Someone who’s been on more than a couple of dates before is going to be aware of the fact that it’s common and natural for people to want to put their best face forward when they’re on a date. It’s not so much that they are being “fake” as they don’t want the not-so-stellar parts of their personality to show before being able to make a pretty good first impression. That’s why, when people are first getting to know individuals, it’s not uncommon for them to watch how their date is treating the individuals around them. So, if you’re rude to your server, if you have road rage, if you are snappy to others in the movie line, an observant person is going to take note. And no matter how nice you may be to them, they’re going to sense that you have a rude sign to you. And yeah, that’s definitely not a good look.

Not turning off your phone. Unless you’re a physician who’s on call or you happen to have someone in your family who is extremely ill, there’s really no reason to have your phone on and there’s certainly no reason to be checking your notifications every 10 minutes while you’re on a date. The best way to let someone know that they are a priority to you is to offer up your undivided attention. And one of the best ways to do that is to put your phone on silent (or at the very least, on vibrate).

Gossiping. Eleanor Roosevelt once said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” And when you’re on a date with someone (especially a first or second date), the last thing that you want them to think is that you have a “small mind”. So whether you’re meeting the person for the first time or you’ve met before and have already established that you know some of the same people, keep gossiping down to a minimum. Aside from the quote that we already shared, you might be familiar with this one as well: “If they’ll gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you.” Gossip speaks to being a bit on the messy side. You definitely don’t want to be seen in that kind of light.

Trying to rush physical affection. When you’re just getting to know someone, it’s important that you are careful when it comes to observing their boundaries; especially their physical boundaries. So, unless they are giving you direct cues that they want to kiss, cuddle or otherwise, pump the brakes when it comes to initiating physical affection. Although in your mind, you might think that it’s coming off as being sentimental or endearing, to others it might translate as being nothing more than…pushy.

Doing a lot of comparisons. Wanna know one clear indication that you’re not over your ex yet? It’s if you’re constantly bringing them up while you’re on a date. Or worse, you’re comparing them to your date. Both of these are ultimate turn-offs. While we’re at it, so are bringing up celebrities that you like and sizing them up to your date. We’re pretty sure that you would find these things super tacky if they were done to you so yeah...avoiding turning your date off by comparing them to other people. You’re with them. Focus on them. Affirm them. Show that you are truly interested in them. No matter who they are, they will find that to be the ultimate on-a-date turn on!

First Date Woes: 5 Things to NOT Bring Up on a First Date

Bad first dates. We’ve all been on at least one of them. And while sometimes it’s due to the fact that we were set up with someone that we’re simply not compatible with, there are other times when, no matter how good of a job that a friend or professional matchmaker does in the pairing up, the issue ultimately ends up being, not a lack of chemistry but poor communication.

In other words, things could’ve gone exceptionally well if the conversation (and perhaps body language) had been better…

But when we know better, we do better, right? So, in the effort of making sure that your next first date ends up being one that’s worth extending to a second and third, here are five things that really shouldn’t be brought up on the first date.

Someone’s financial situation. Unless you’re independently wealthy, do you really want to sit and talk to someone about what’s in your bank account or how much money you make at your job? So, why would you think that your date would want to do it? Bringing up things like someone’s credit history, financial woes or debt is really more of a way of being a downer than anything else. Plus, if you’re a man, it comes off as being pretty pretentious and if you’re a woman, like an opportunist. Dates are supposed to be fun and light. Financial conversations tend to be serious and heavy. Leave money off of the table.

Someone’s childhood. The reason why this one goes on the list is because it really is a wild card if the person you’re seeing had a good childhood or not. After all, it’s a wise person who once said that adulthood is about surviving childhood. That said, other than inquiring about how many siblings they have or where they were born or grew up, it’s best to not initiate anything deep on the first date. If this topic comes up, let it be because they volunteered information; not that you asked.

Someone’s sexual history. If you’re someone who participates in casual sex on a fairly regular basis, please make sure that you always carry protection with you. Sex on a first date is risky at best because unless you’re going out with someone that you’ve known on a platonic level, they are basically a stranger to you. But if you want to wait a while before taking that step, the first date is not the time to want to find out someone’s “body count”. No matter what your motive may be for asking, it’s nosey at best and judgmental at worst. When you’re intimate enough to sleep together, that’s when it’s a more appropriate time to ask about someone’s sexual history (if it even matters at all once you get to know their heart a bit better).

Someone’s appearance. OK, this one might seem a bit odd to bring up but you’d be amazed by how many people will take it upon themselves to be someone else’s fashion critic or personal trainer. All of us have things that we could improve upon, including physically. But on a first date, you have not even come close to earning the kind of trust that you need in order to offer criticism---no matter how “constructive” you might personally feel that it is. So yeah, when it comes to how someone looks and what you think they could do to make them look better…keep that to yourself. Share it with your best friend after your date (if you must).

Your habits/issues/drama. Your date is not your therapist. So, when it comes to all of the stuff that you have going on in your life, try and keep that at bay as well. If you’re a single parent currently in a custody dispute, if you have a sense that you’re about to be fired from your job, if you’re quietly wondering if you’re a binge drinker, if you know that you have sex too soon with people or if you’re trying to figure out why you have such a dirty house…it’s not like those things are not going to come out eventually. But right now what you need to focus on is putting forth a good first impression. You’ll have forever to talk about the issues that you have. For now, just focus on the good in your life. That will make for great first date conversation!

Unrealistic Expectations: 5 Things to Not Expect from a First (or Second) Date

If you’ve never heard of the website Statistic Brain before, basically it’s a popular website that provides statistical data on just about everything that you can imagine; including dating. Last spring, they posted an article on online dating and one of their findings indicated that a whopping 71 percent of people believe in love at first sight.

Maybe it’s because individuals still believe in romance (that’s a good thing, by the way). Maybe it’s because romantic comedies continue to put smiles on folks’ faces. Maybe people have a family member or co-worker who has a story of how their relationship started out that way. Shoot, it could even be that a lot of individuals have tuned in to watch the first two seasons of FYI’s Married at First Sight.

Whatever the case may be, being that almost three-fourths of people still feel that it can happen, this leads us to believe that there are a lot of hopefuls who find themselves having some pretty unrealistic expectations on their first---or even second---date.

Why? Because although love at first sight is awesome…

It tends to be pretty rare.

That’s why we wanted to take out a moment to share with you a list of five things. Things that it’s OK to be (quietly) hopeful for during the first few dates, but at the same time are things that you should flat-out expect.

To expect to hear “I love you”. Yes, in the movies, it’s sweet to hear an “I love you” (or at least an “I think I love you”) after a first date or a one night stand but let’s be real. It takes knowing a person to be able to know if you love them and that’s not going to happen in a short amount of time. So, no matter how much you would love to hear those three magical words, make sure that you hearing it and someone saying it is much more than merely being in love with love.

To expect to hear “You’re the one”. Let’s really think about what being “the one” really means. It basically means that out of all of the people on the planet (or at least your own social circle), you have found the person who best complements your personality, goals and lifestyle. And how could you possibly know that after the first couple of dates?!? Being “the one” is a sentiment that really needs to be reserved for when you and someone else are getting closer to exploring a long-term commitment or marriage because then those words can be backed up with substantial action. That brings us to the next point.

To expect your date to bring up marriage. Another cool thing about using a professional matchmaking service or even filling out an online dating profile is you can get a good gauge for if someone is interested in a long-term commitment or not before ever meeting them. But either way, don’t expect marriage to be a big part of the conversation on the first or second date. The first date is usually about getting a lot of formalities out of the way and the second date is about reaching a certain comfort level with one another. By bringing up marriage during that time…that can definitely disrupt the natural flow of things (to say the least). It’s a topic that should happen…naturally. It shouldn’t be forced in any way.

To expect your date to want to see you all of the time. So the first and second date are awesome! The chemistry is there. Conversations continue to flow smoothly. You both mention seeing each other again and you might even get a “good night” text at the end of each date or a “good morning” text the next day. That’s awesome. It really is. But don’t mistake excitement for commitment. By that we mean, just because you and your date like one another, they shouldn’t be expected to do the same things that come with actually being in a relationship. Having a great date and not hearing from them continuously doesn’t mean there isn’t real relationship potential there. It simply means that love takes time; that it’s something that shouldn’t be rushed.

To expect your date to want to be exclusive. Frankly, we’d be concerned if you told us that you went on one date with someone and the person suddenly said that they didn’t want you to see anyone else but them. In order for a relationship to be truly healthy, there needs to be a season of dating before it should ever transition into an exclusive situation. For this reason, please keep in mind that no matter how much you want to have a one-on-one relationship, you’ll be doing you and your date a disservice by expecting it before either of you is ready or sure. Bottom line, take your time. Enjoy the getting to know each other process. And remember that when it comes to dating, it’s OK to have expectations. Just make sure that you do your best to keep them realistic.

6 Things to Bring Up on Your Second Date

So, you made it to your second date, eh? Although you might not think that you’ve accomplished a major feat, a lot of matchmaking companies can personally vouch for the fact that if you’ve had a successful first date, that is something to be pretty happy about. Not only does it mean that you’ve obviously made a great first impression; a second date also shows signs of a connection being established too.

Now that all of the initial introductions have been made, it’s time to scratch a bit beneath the surface. After all, dating is not just about hanging out with another individual (you can do that with your friends!). Dating is about investing time into another person in order to see if there is a potential relationship that can come from it.

That’s why, before heading out on your second date, it’s a good idea to have a few questions in mind. Ones that can help you to see if this is the kind of person you want to get to know better on a romantic level, is the kind of person who should be no more than a friend or is the kind of person where the second date also needs to be the final date. (Here’s hoping for Door #1, by the way!)

What are you looking for? Off top, this question might appear to be “What are you looking for in a person?” but actually we mean “What are you looking for a relationship?” Some of you might have caught the movie That Awkward Moment (Zac Efron, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan) where in the beginning, Zac’s character had a girl break up with him only for him to say to himself “I had no idea we were actually in a relationship.” You know the drill, perception is reality and you don’t want to spend six months thinking that you’re heading towards something serious while the person you’re seeing is taking the casual approach. Knowing that you both want the same kind of relationship helps to set a firm foundation.

What are you passionate about? A common question that folks tend to ask on dates is “So, what do you do for a living?” But basically all of us know at least one person who has a job but is not pursuing their actual passion. Two great things can come from asking someone this question: One, you can gain some pretty profound insight into their loves and interests. Secondly, most individuals find this to be a thoughtful approach to a conversation. You’ll get at least a couple of smiles and twinkle of the eyes with this question. Guaranteed.

What are some of your favorite things? Everyone has favorite things. Favorite songs, favorite movies, favorite colors and quotes…favorite holidays and activities. This question helps you to learn an intimate side of the person you are on a date with without being too invasive. Plus, should the date go beyond a second one, you’ll have an idea of what they like to do and see. It can actually make planning future dates a lot easier.

What are your pet peeves? You’d be amazed how many married couples are considering divorce court right at this very moment because “the little things” have suddenly become pretty big ones. Asking your date what their pet peeves are is basically a lighthearted kind of way of asking them what gets on their last nerve. Is it people who eat and talk at the same time? Is it people who text while at the table? Maybe it’s individuals who go on and on about themselves. The sooner you know theirs and they know yours, the more proactive you both can be when it comes to avoiding these little irritants when you’re together.

What’s your schedule like? There are a lot of people who really like each other, but are not able to spend as much time together as they would like due to conflicting schedules. If your date has a day job while you work at night or both of you have weekend gigs, that could ultimately prove to be pretty frustrating. Finding out when and how to make the dating thing happen is paramount.

What would you like to do next time? Say that you were to find a date through a professional matchmaking company like Tawkify. If you were to ask a matchmaker about another question that you should ask on a second date, if the date went well, as it’s coming to an end, don’t be shy about asking what they would like to do the next time. It shows interest and also initiative. These are both big pluses when it comes to letting your date know that you’d like to get to know them even better. That you want another date. And another. And another.

Yeah, This Date Sucks: 7 Things That Make First Dates Tank

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while now, chances are that you could write this article yourself. Just live long enough (meaning over 25 years) and you’ve probably been on at least one or two pretty bad dates.

However, the purpose of this piece is not so that we can all find things to complain and become bitter about. It’s so that we can keep in mind the things that we need to avoid doing so that the person that we’re sitting across from is not looking at us and thinking “Ugh, this date sucks!”

Yeah, think of this as a “dating don’ts piece” that you and your friends might write or a professional matchmaker might hand to you. It’s just a quick reminder of the fact that first impressions are so important. Therefore, you need to do all that you can to make the best possible one!

Being tired. One of the reasons why meeting someone after work for drinks isn’t something that’s the best idea on the planet to do is because you’re probably going to be tired. And when a person is worn down, that can make them irritable or simply preoccupied. Your date deserves your undivided attention. Agree to meet up after you’re well-rested. (Or at the very least, after you’ve had a nap first.)

Staying “connected”. A lot of us remember what life was like before smartphones. When it comes to dates, it really is best if the smartphone is treated like the old-school house phones that had a voice mail. Meaning, if you’re not comfortable leaving your cell phone in the car, at least put it on silent and leave it in your jacket or purse. Those texts, FB messages and Instagram pics will all be there when the date is over. Don’t let them keep you from completely focusing while the date is going on.

Getting drunk. Wine with dinner is fine. Throwing back shots all night? That’s so not a good look. Although there’s honestly never a good time to be drunk, the worst possible occasion is on a first date. First of all, it sends the impression that you can’t hold your liquor. Secondly, it tends to bring out a side of your personality that isn’t the most attractive. Besides, who wants to pay for their date to get an Uber ride home because they’re too wasted to drive? Sober is the best way to be on a date. Monitor your drinking accordingly.

Talking about your ex all of the time. Here’s the thing about exes. If you’re talking about them a lot, you’re probably not over them which means that you may not be ready to date in the first place. It’s one thing to answer a question about your dating past if you’re asked. It’s another thing to make 60 percent of the conversation about how your ex royally screwed you over. You have your friends to talk to about that stuff. Leave that off of the dating table, please.

Flirting with other people. Some folks are natural flirts. This means that sometimes, without even really noticing it, they’ll wink at their server, make goo-goo eyes at a person at the bar and/or stare at someone’s backside while they’re walking by. Do you know the message that coveys? It basically says that everyone around you is more interesting/appealing than who is before you. No one wants to feel like they are second-rate especially on a first date. Also, overt flirting is pretty disrespectful. Therefore, do your very best to keep that at an absolute minimum.

Being bossy. Although there are some people who find it either romantic or attentive to have their date order for them, you’re probably not going to know that on your first date. And so, if you do it, you’ll probably come off as controlling or a know-it-all. Another thing that conveys bossiness is over-talking someone or correcting them a lot. Dates are supposed to be a fun time for two people to get to know one another better. It’s not a competition and it’s certainly not a chance for someone to act like another’s parent or teacher. Being bossy on a date is a surefire way for someone to walk away thinking that the date totally tanked.

Proposing sex. When it comes to sex, some people have a third date rule, some people would prefer to be in love and some folks don’t have any rules at all. But one thing that pretty much everyone has in common is you come off as either a pervert or extremely arrogant if you propose sex on a first date. If things go well, there will be plenty of time to get to the intimacy portion of the relationship program. For now, keep all discussions centered on what’s going on from the neck up. Interestingly enough, the brain is the biggest sex organ anyway. Show some interest there, make a connection and you never know where things could go. At the right place. At the right time. After the first date.

No Vibes: How to Handle Not Being Attracted on Your First Date

There are some people who have never really considered using an online dating service or hiring a professional matchmaker in order to help them with their dating life. The way they see it, why pay for someone to do what they can do for free? (You know, find a date.)

Well, the title of this article is one huge reason why it’s at least worth giving a try. With an online dating service, you’re at least able to see someone’s profile beforehand. And even better, with a matchmaking service like Tawkify, you can have someone do a lot of filtering for you. That’s because professional matchmakers spend a considerable about of time determining what two people would be the most ideal for one another based on looks, personalities and even lifestyles. They’re aware of the fact that the more compatible two people are, the more likely they will be initially attracted to one another. And that could lead eventually lead to a potential relationship.

But whether you’re set up by a friend or you decide to go on a first date via an online dating or matchmaking option, there is always a chance that you might not be as attracted as you would’ve hoped. If that’s the case, don’t excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then never come back (that would be brutal if someone did that to you, right?). There are actually some more tactful (and productive) ways to handle it. Try these tips instead.

Process what you’re not attracted to. Unless it’s a blind date, you probably already knew what the person looked like. But if in person, they are shorter (or taller) than you would prefer, they look a lot older (or younger) than they did in their pictures or it’s even something like you hate their sense of style---at the end of the day all of these things are “surface issues”. On the other hand, if they’re rude or arrogant or your personalities simply do not mesh, that can end up being a much bigger problem. So silently (please do this in your head), think about what specifically you are not attracted to. That will help you to decide if there’s no chance for a second date or if you simply need to…lighten up a bit.

If they’re open to a second date, give it a try. Look, if on the first date they are a class A jerk, we support you blocking their number and moving on with your life. But if you’re on the fence and they ask to go out on another date, why not give it a try? There are a lot of married couples who will tell you that while there was not an immediate spark between them, the more time they spent together, a slow fire began to grow. Plus, sometimes people are nervous on a first date and you don’t get to see who they truly are because of it. It’s only another two hours (give or take) of your life. And you never know what might come from it by making the additional investment.

Make peace with the “friend zone”. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on first dates is “throwing out the bathtub with the bathwater” or as grandma used to say “cutting off their nose to spite their face”. Meaning, they go into a dating situation with an all-or-nothing mindset. Then, if the date isn’t as awesome as they would like, they cut all ties. Although the ultimate goal is to go on a date in hopes of making a love connection, not all of them are going to work out that way. What’s important is to keep an open mind. Some people are not your type, but that doesn’t mean that the two of you still can’t be friends. And who knows? If the two of you become cool enough and they get to know you better, they might realize that they have a friend who would be just perfect for you. At the very least, you might end up with a friend for life! So, if you’re not attracted, it’s not the end of the world. Stick around, at least through dessert, to see if there is something about them that you find to be interesting. Interesting enough to at least become a great acquaintance or even better---an awesome platonic friend.

You CAN'T Be Serious: 6 First Date Red Flags

Have you ever had a friend call you upset about a relationship gone wrong? And while they’re going down the list of all of the hurtful things that happened, did you happen to hear them say “I don’t know how it got to this point. I never saw it coming.”

*sigh*

It’s true. Sometimes people can blindside you. But you know what, more times than not, there were warning signs, even from the very first date, that went overlooked. Signs that could’ve us spared weeks, months or even years of drama and heartache if they had simply been adhered to.

In the hopes that you can avoid this kind of shock, if you have a hot first date coming up, we wanted to share with you a few red flags to look out for. That way, you won’t get burned.

Red Flag #1: You see a wedding ring. There are some people who wear rings on the third finger of their left hand, even if they’re single. So if you happen to see one there and you want to clarify what it is, by all means do that. But if they tell you it’s a wedding ring, even if they say they are separated or divorcing, it’s a red flag. People are married until they are officially divorced and even then, they usually need some time to process and heal. That’s why it’s best to stay out of those kinds of situations. Oh, and if you notice a tan line around that same finger, take that as another sign to steer clear. Just trust us on that.

Red Flag #2: They talk about having a bad financial situation. A gold digger is not something to aspire to be. That’s not what we’re talking about here, though. If when you and your date start conversing, they mention not having a lot of money, recently losing their job or trying to make ends meet, they could be dropping a hint that they may not be in the position to pay for the date---including their part of it. These days, a lot of people prefer to go Dutch, which is OK. But if you went into the date with the assumption that the financial responsibility would not fall on you and you start to see that it’s going to end up doing just that, you may be put into that position again. And again. And again. Bottom line, be careful with the “I’m broke” hustle.

Red Flag #3: You feel like you’re being controlled. Say your first date is a dinner date. If when you try and place your drink or food order, your date cuts you off and tells the server that you would prefer something else, don’t overlook that. Once the two of you become closer and establish a type of intimacy (and understanding) about what you like and how you want your dates to go, that’s one thing. But when they are just getting to know you? Yeah, pushiness is not cool. In fact, it’s sometimes it’s a sign of a controlling individual and you do not want to be in a relationship with that type of person.

Red Flag #4: They talk about themselves. The entire time. Arrogant people don’t look for dates. They look for fans. One way to know that/if you are dating an ego maniac is if they spend the entire time talking about themselves. Another flag is if you can’t seem to get a word in edge-wise to the point that by the end of your date, you can basically count on one hand the amount of words you got to say. The way relationships start are the way they oftentimes remain. If you give your date the impression that you don’t mind not having a voice, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll never be heard.

Red Flag #5: They live at home. If you’re dating someone who’s college-age, that’s one thing. But if they are in their 30s (or over) and they mention living with their parents or grandparents, you might want to investigate that a bit further. Yes, the economy is tough and we all have challenges here and there but don’t assume that an adult who lives at home has a simple story. Also, if you choose to overlook it, also don’t assume that dating is going to be easy or even convenient. An adult living on their own speaks to having a certain level of responsibility and stability. A person who says “Yeah, I still live with my mom” deserves to get a follow-up question like “Oh, so you’re pursuing your education or something?” And please, by all means, listen for the answer. And make sure it’s a good one.

Red Flag #6: They give backhanded compliments. Passive aggressive people can be so annoying. They also tend to be the ones who offer up backhanded compliments. You know, ones like “You’re cute. From your online profile, I thought you were thinner though” or “I like your style. If I had known you were so short, I would’ve dressed differently though.” Ugh. A backhanded compliment is about as bad a half apology: “I’m sorry but if you hadn’t have such-and-such, I wouldn’t have so-and-so.” Whether it’s a relationship coach, a professional matchmaker or even your more, they all are going to agree with the fact that you are worthy of someone who will easily and clearly praise you. If your date isn’t doing it, if they seem to be slick insulting you instead, that’s a red flag. And it probably needs to be your first and last date with that individual too.