Yeah, This Date Sucks: 7 Things That Make First Dates Tank

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a while now, chances are that you could write this article yourself. Just live long enough (meaning over 25 years) and you’ve probably been on at least one or two pretty bad dates.

However, the purpose of this piece is not so that we can all find things to complain and become bitter about. It’s so that we can keep in mind the things that we need to avoid doing so that the person that we’re sitting across from is not looking at us and thinking “Ugh, this date sucks!”

Yeah, think of this as a “dating don’ts piece” that you and your friends might write or a professional matchmaker might hand to you. It’s just a quick reminder of the fact that first impressions are so important. Therefore, you need to do all that you can to make the best possible one!

Being tired. One of the reasons why meeting someone after work for drinks isn’t something that’s the best idea on the planet to do is because you’re probably going to be tired. And when a person is worn down, that can make them irritable or simply preoccupied. Your date deserves your undivided attention. Agree to meet up after you’re well-rested. (Or at the very least, after you’ve had a nap first.)

Staying “connected”. A lot of us remember what life was like before smartphones. When it comes to dates, it really is best if the smartphone is treated like the old-school house phones that had a voice mail. Meaning, if you’re not comfortable leaving your cell phone in the car, at least put it on silent and leave it in your jacket or purse. Those texts, FB messages and Instagram pics will all be there when the date is over. Don’t let them keep you from completely focusing while the date is going on.

Getting drunk. Wine with dinner is fine. Throwing back shots all night? That’s so not a good look. Although there’s honestly never a good time to be drunk, the worst possible occasion is on a first date. First of all, it sends the impression that you can’t hold your liquor. Secondly, it tends to bring out a side of your personality that isn’t the most attractive. Besides, who wants to pay for their date to get an Uber ride home because they’re too wasted to drive? Sober is the best way to be on a date. Monitor your drinking accordingly.

Talking about your ex all of the time. Here’s the thing about exes. If you’re talking about them a lot, you’re probably not over them which means that you may not be ready to date in the first place. It’s one thing to answer a question about your dating past if you’re asked. It’s another thing to make 60 percent of the conversation about how your ex royally screwed you over. You have your friends to talk to about that stuff. Leave that off of the dating table, please.

Flirting with other people. Some folks are natural flirts. This means that sometimes, without even really noticing it, they’ll wink at their server, make goo-goo eyes at a person at the bar and/or stare at someone’s backside while they’re walking by. Do you know the message that coveys? It basically says that everyone around you is more interesting/appealing than who is before you. No one wants to feel like they are second-rate especially on a first date. Also, overt flirting is pretty disrespectful. Therefore, do your very best to keep that at an absolute minimum.

Being bossy. Although there are some people who find it either romantic or attentive to have their date order for them, you’re probably not going to know that on your first date. And so, if you do it, you’ll probably come off as controlling or a know-it-all. Another thing that conveys bossiness is over-talking someone or correcting them a lot. Dates are supposed to be a fun time for two people to get to know one another better. It’s not a competition and it’s certainly not a chance for someone to act like another’s parent or teacher. Being bossy on a date is a surefire way for someone to walk away thinking that the date totally tanked.

Proposing sex. When it comes to sex, some people have a third date rule, some people would prefer to be in love and some folks don’t have any rules at all. But one thing that pretty much everyone has in common is you come off as either a pervert or extremely arrogant if you propose sex on a first date. If things go well, there will be plenty of time to get to the intimacy portion of the relationship program. For now, keep all discussions centered on what’s going on from the neck up. Interestingly enough, the brain is the biggest sex organ anyway. Show some interest there, make a connection and you never know where things could go. At the right place. At the right time. After the first date.

On the Fence: 6 Reasons to Go on a Second Date When You're Unsure

Wouldn’t it be awesome to go on a first date, feel an immediate mutual connection and know that you’ve met the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with by the time your server brings you the bill? Yeah, it would also be awesome to win the lottery or to be offered a free all-expenses paid vacation to another country too. The reality is things like this do happen; it’s just that they don’t happen often. Or to a ton of people.

When it comes to money, vacationing and yes, even finding true love, the majority of us have to work pretty hard to get what we want. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. A wise man once said that we tend to appreciate things more when we actually have to put some time, effort and energy into them.

That’s why, if you were to ask a professional matchmaker for a few tips on finding true love, one of the things that they would probably recommend is that you be patient with the initial dating process. For instance, if after going on a first date with someone, you don’t feel an immediate chemistry, one of the worst things that you could do is not go on a second date.

Yeah, on the surface this might sound crazy, but just hear us out.

When it comes to dating, sometimes the second (or third or even fourth) date really is the charm.

Go on a second date because there’s more than meets the eye. There’s only so much that you can get to know about a person in a couple of hours and you know what they say: It’s never a good idea to judge a book by its cover. So, if for no other reason, go on a second date because it puts more time on the clock for the both of you to become more familiar with each other. Who said that just because things didn’t “click” the first time that they won’t the second?

Go on a second date because you’ll be calmer. Even if you consider yourself to be an extroverted individual, you probably still felt a little anxious or nervous on your first date. That’s understandable being that you don’t really know the person. But once the initial date is out of the way, that helps to take some of the edge off. By the second date, you can be calmer, which means that you can be more comfortable engaging one another in conversation. And that can help you to discover more.

Go on a second date because you can select another venue. One of the main benefits in hiring a matchmaking company like Tawkify to assist you with your dating needs is they are experts in matching people and planning dates. But whether you go through a matchmaking service or not, another reason to go on a second date is it gives you the opportunity to try another venue which can totally change the ambiance and your attitude. For instance, if your first date was at a restaurant that didn’t have a menu that you were crazy about or it was at a concert where you couldn’t do much talking, a second date gives you an opportunity to switch the scene up at bit. That’s a good thing because when it comes to having a perfect date, the atmosphere definitely plays a significant part.

Go on a second date because you can talk more in between the date. Very rarely do people decide to go on a second date and not speak before time. So, if things were awkward on the first date, maybe you need a few days to do some communicating via phone, text or email. That way, you can get to know each other a bit better, which can make you more prepared both mentally and emotionally for the next time you are together.

Go on a second date because others can give you a perspective on the first one. If your date was set up through a professional matchmaker, they’re definitely someone you can talk to about how you felt about the first date. And because they are experts at bringing people together, they can provide you with a perspective that you wouldn’t be able to see on your own. The same goes for your friends. By getting an outside opinion, when you say things like “But their laugh is obnoxious” or “Their phone went off more than I would like”, you can get another point of view before making a final judgment call. And that other perspective may be just what you need to give your date another try.

Go on a second date because everyone deserves a second chance. It’s one thing to be totally repulsed by someone. It’s another to be somewhat unsure. It’s basically the difference between a “Heck no!” and a “Well, maybe.” No relationship is built in a day. Everyone deserves the opportunity to put their best foot forward, even if it is the second time around. If the first date went OK, but you’re not sure if you’re interested in taking things further, go on a second date. Look at it this way: By the end of that one, you’ll be more confident in your decision to take it further or not. Whether it’s a “Yes, I’d like to see you again” or it’s “No, but I enjoyed meeting you”, you’ll be able to walk away sure rather than unsure.

Pump the Breaks: 5 Things to Think About Before Getting Intimate

There are some people who have their own rules when it comes to physical intimacy. For instance, some folks will not engage in sexual activity until monogamy has been established. Then there are others who simply look for a spark or connection. There are also some individuals who think that so long as the other person is “down”, so are they.

But if you were to speak with a relationship coach or professional matchmaker about when it’s the best time to get intimate with someone you’re seeing, they’re probably going to tell you that while each couple is different, there are a few things that you should think about first---for the sake of your mind, body and spirit. So that when sex does transpire, it’s a truly enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Think about your health. This one definitely has to be mentioned first. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, there were 20 million new reported cases of STDs within the United States alone. And although a condom is pretty effective, only abstinence is 100 percent reliable. That said, sex continues to be a serious act that requires forethought and preparation. Make sure that the both of you get tested before engaging in it with one another.

Think about your pattern(s). A lot of sexually active people have a pattern. They might have sex on first dates and then never hear from the person again. Or, they may have sex only because the other person wants to and then they end up regretting it. Or, they might have really great sex with an individual and end up mistaking it for a great relationship, only to realize…it’s not. If you can relate to any of these patterns and you want to break out of them, you know the drill: The best way to not get what you’ve always had is to not do what you’ve always done. If sex has always played a role in an outcome you don’t want, try approaching sex differently with the new individual that you’re seeing.

Think about your reasons. You have to decide what’s best for you but it’s always a good idea to be clear on what your reasons are for doing things before you do them. And you know what else? When it comes to having sex, it’s also a good idea to know the reason why the other individual is doing what they’re doing too. That way, you both can be on the same page and no one is waking up the next morning…disillusioned.

Think about your gut. There is so much to be said for a person’s gut instinct. So, if something inside of you feels that the person you’re thinking about having sex with is unsafe or emotionally unstable or is simply not the best person for you to be intimate, don’t ignore your inner voice. Hey, better to be too cautious than not cautious enough, right? We agree. 100 percent.

Think about your goal. If you want to have sex simply because you enjoy sex and the other person feels the same way, do your thing. But if you’re doing it because you think that it will quickly escalate the relationship or because you’re scared that they’ll lose interest if you don’t and you want to hold their attention for as long as possible, these aren’t really the best reasons to get involved. Sex is not something that should be used as a mechanism to reach some type of goal. In fact, that’s a surefire way to end up disappointed. The goal of sex should be about two people who care about one another wanting to express their feelings through physical intimacy. If your goal is not as clear as this, wait. You have all of the time in the world to get intimate with someone. Even if it ends up needing to be with someone else.

No Vibes: How to Handle Not Being Attracted on Your First Date

There are some people who have never really considered using an online dating service or hiring a professional matchmaker in order to help them with their dating life. The way they see it, why pay for someone to do what they can do for free? (You know, find a date.)

Well, the title of this article is one huge reason why it’s at least worth giving a try. With an online dating service, you’re at least able to see someone’s profile beforehand. And even better, with a matchmaking service like Tawkify, you can have someone do a lot of filtering for you. That’s because professional matchmakers spend a considerable about of time determining what two people would be the most ideal for one another based on looks, personalities and even lifestyles. They’re aware of the fact that the more compatible two people are, the more likely they will be initially attracted to one another. And that could lead eventually lead to a potential relationship.

But whether you’re set up by a friend or you decide to go on a first date via an online dating or matchmaking option, there is always a chance that you might not be as attracted as you would’ve hoped. If that’s the case, don’t excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then never come back (that would be brutal if someone did that to you, right?). There are actually some more tactful (and productive) ways to handle it. Try these tips instead.

Process what you’re not attracted to. Unless it’s a blind date, you probably already knew what the person looked like. But if in person, they are shorter (or taller) than you would prefer, they look a lot older (or younger) than they did in their pictures or it’s even something like you hate their sense of style---at the end of the day all of these things are “surface issues”. On the other hand, if they’re rude or arrogant or your personalities simply do not mesh, that can end up being a much bigger problem. So silently (please do this in your head), think about what specifically you are not attracted to. That will help you to decide if there’s no chance for a second date or if you simply need to…lighten up a bit.

If they’re open to a second date, give it a try. Look, if on the first date they are a class A jerk, we support you blocking their number and moving on with your life. But if you’re on the fence and they ask to go out on another date, why not give it a try? There are a lot of married couples who will tell you that while there was not an immediate spark between them, the more time they spent together, a slow fire began to grow. Plus, sometimes people are nervous on a first date and you don’t get to see who they truly are because of it. It’s only another two hours (give or take) of your life. And you never know what might come from it by making the additional investment.

Make peace with the “friend zone”. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on first dates is “throwing out the bathtub with the bathwater” or as grandma used to say “cutting off their nose to spite their face”. Meaning, they go into a dating situation with an all-or-nothing mindset. Then, if the date isn’t as awesome as they would like, they cut all ties. Although the ultimate goal is to go on a date in hopes of making a love connection, not all of them are going to work out that way. What’s important is to keep an open mind. Some people are not your type, but that doesn’t mean that the two of you still can’t be friends. And who knows? If the two of you become cool enough and they get to know you better, they might realize that they have a friend who would be just perfect for you. At the very least, you might end up with a friend for life! So, if you’re not attracted, it’s not the end of the world. Stick around, at least through dessert, to see if there is something about them that you find to be interesting. Interesting enough to at least become a great acquaintance or even better---an awesome platonic friend.

You CAN'T Be Serious: 6 First Date Red Flags

Have you ever had a friend call you upset about a relationship gone wrong? And while they’re going down the list of all of the hurtful things that happened, did you happen to hear them say “I don’t know how it got to this point. I never saw it coming.”

*sigh*

It’s true. Sometimes people can blindside you. But you know what, more times than not, there were warning signs, even from the very first date, that went overlooked. Signs that could’ve us spared weeks, months or even years of drama and heartache if they had simply been adhered to.

In the hopes that you can avoid this kind of shock, if you have a hot first date coming up, we wanted to share with you a few red flags to look out for. That way, you won’t get burned.

Red Flag #1: You see a wedding ring. There are some people who wear rings on the third finger of their left hand, even if they’re single. So if you happen to see one there and you want to clarify what it is, by all means do that. But if they tell you it’s a wedding ring, even if they say they are separated or divorcing, it’s a red flag. People are married until they are officially divorced and even then, they usually need some time to process and heal. That’s why it’s best to stay out of those kinds of situations. Oh, and if you notice a tan line around that same finger, take that as another sign to steer clear. Just trust us on that.

Red Flag #2: They talk about having a bad financial situation. A gold digger is not something to aspire to be. That’s not what we’re talking about here, though. If when you and your date start conversing, they mention not having a lot of money, recently losing their job or trying to make ends meet, they could be dropping a hint that they may not be in the position to pay for the date---including their part of it. These days, a lot of people prefer to go Dutch, which is OK. But if you went into the date with the assumption that the financial responsibility would not fall on you and you start to see that it’s going to end up doing just that, you may be put into that position again. And again. And again. Bottom line, be careful with the “I’m broke” hustle.

Red Flag #3: You feel like you’re being controlled. Say your first date is a dinner date. If when you try and place your drink or food order, your date cuts you off and tells the server that you would prefer something else, don’t overlook that. Once the two of you become closer and establish a type of intimacy (and understanding) about what you like and how you want your dates to go, that’s one thing. But when they are just getting to know you? Yeah, pushiness is not cool. In fact, it’s sometimes it’s a sign of a controlling individual and you do not want to be in a relationship with that type of person.

Red Flag #4: They talk about themselves. The entire time. Arrogant people don’t look for dates. They look for fans. One way to know that/if you are dating an ego maniac is if they spend the entire time talking about themselves. Another flag is if you can’t seem to get a word in edge-wise to the point that by the end of your date, you can basically count on one hand the amount of words you got to say. The way relationships start are the way they oftentimes remain. If you give your date the impression that you don’t mind not having a voice, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll never be heard.

Red Flag #5: They live at home. If you’re dating someone who’s college-age, that’s one thing. But if they are in their 30s (or over) and they mention living with their parents or grandparents, you might want to investigate that a bit further. Yes, the economy is tough and we all have challenges here and there but don’t assume that an adult who lives at home has a simple story. Also, if you choose to overlook it, also don’t assume that dating is going to be easy or even convenient. An adult living on their own speaks to having a certain level of responsibility and stability. A person who says “Yeah, I still live with my mom” deserves to get a follow-up question like “Oh, so you’re pursuing your education or something?” And please, by all means, listen for the answer. And make sure it’s a good one.

Red Flag #6: They give backhanded compliments. Passive aggressive people can be so annoying. They also tend to be the ones who offer up backhanded compliments. You know, ones like “You’re cute. From your online profile, I thought you were thinner though” or “I like your style. If I had known you were so short, I would’ve dressed differently though.” Ugh. A backhanded compliment is about as bad a half apology: “I’m sorry but if you hadn’t have such-and-such, I wouldn’t have so-and-so.” Whether it’s a relationship coach, a professional matchmaker or even your more, they all are going to agree with the fact that you are worthy of someone who will easily and clearly praise you. If your date isn’t doing it, if they seem to be slick insulting you instead, that’s a red flag. And it probably needs to be your first and last date with that individual too.

Dead Air: How to Get Through Awkward Communication Moments

If you’re someone who’s always dated the “the old-fashioned way”, you may have never considered going the online dating route or even better (and oftentimes more effective), hiring professional matchmaking service. But here’s just one of the many reasons to give this kind of technology a try: With online dating, you can first get to know someone via their profile and chatting with them online. And if you were to try a great matchmaking service like Tawkify, you could get some tips from a matchmaker on how to communicate with your date in such a way that you can make a great connection. Even as early as your very first encounter.

But no matter how you decide to go about meeting new people, even if you are naturally outgoing, engaging and curious, there may be times of random and albeit awkward silence; especially during the first couple of dates. You know, times when you’re not sure just what to say, times when there is awkward silence…times when you’re not sure what to do to get “over the hump” in the midst of conversations.

If you can certainly relate to what “dead air dating” feels like, here are a few helpful tips to get you through it:

Admit your feelings. Whether you’re shy, nervous or straight up awestruck by how by how attractive your date is, it’s OK to say that. For one thing, it shows that you are comfortable with being both vulnerable and honest and that’s always appealing. Plus, there’s a pretty good chance that your date feels the same way too, so it could be a good ice breaker.

Come with some questions. Although the movies always make it look like dating is so seamless, we live in the real world. The place where people on a first date are oftentimes strangers at first which means that they need time to get to know one another better. The best way to do that is by asking questions. The standard “So where are you from?” and “What do you do for a living?” is OK (kinda), but try and be a bit more intriguing than that: “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?” or “If money were no object, what would you want to accomplish?” These kinds of questions are oftentimes not expected. That means that the person has to really think about the answer which can cause them to find a spontaneous form of delight in the conversation.

Watch your body language. You know what they say, 80 percent of how people respond to us is usually based on our body language more than our words. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a mannequin or even paranoid about how you position yourself. It just means that if your arms are crossed, it could be seen as being a bit closed off or if you roll your eyes while your date as talking, they might feel like you are a bit condescending. The point here is to try and send the kind of non-verbal signals that you would want to receive. This alone can nip a lot of the awkward communication moments right in the bud.

Give a compliment. Something that everyone likes to receive are compliments. So, if the dead air is at the beginning of a date or towards the end of it, it’s a good move to say “You look really nice tonight” or “You know what? I had a really good time with you.” Unless the date is a total bust, that’s another way to ease out of an uncomfortable spot and start engaging one another again.

Use a bit of humor. A knock-knock joke? Eh, that’s probably not going to fly over so well. But a funny story about a previous date that you went on could possibly evoke a smile or even a few laughs. As a bonus, you’re letting your date know that you have a sense of humor and who isn’t looking for someone with that quality?

Whatever you do (or don’t do), just remember to relax and to not try and force things. It’s perfectly fine to have moments of silence and it’s totally expected that things may be a bit awkward from time to time. So long as you’re showing genuine effort, you can get past it. You can walk away feeling as if you just had one of the best dates of your entire life. Dead air (so long as it’s seconds and not minutes worth) and all!

Hate Blind Dates? How a Matchmaking Service Can Change Your Mind

Are you someone who would rather pull out your fingernails and then dip your hands in acetone before you would ever go on a blind date? If so, chances are that it’s because you’ve been on one before and, quite frankly, it sucked. And all you need is one bad blind date to make you want to swear off all of them forever.

At the same time, we’re thinking that if you’ve even gotten this far into the article, there must be some part of you that’s at least a little curious about why you should give blind dating just one more try. Our thoughts are these: Although your family members, friends and/or co-workers all probably meant well when they set you up, when people close to you do it, 8 times out of 10, it’s still basically a shot in the dark.

This is so not the case when you decide to hire a professional matchmaking company like Tawkify. No matter what your blind date horror stories may be, they are confident that they can give you the kind of blind date that will lead to a happy ending. (Or at least a really amazing first and follow-up date!)

Matchmaking services are devoted to providing great blind dates. While you’re at work, here’s the thing to remember about professional matchmaking services: they are hard at work too. Only, their focus is making sure that you end up having the best blind date possible. However long that takes, they are willing to invest their time, effort and expertise towards accomplishing the mission. To them, a successful blind date means they are doing their job effectively. To say that they take that seriously is a major understatement.

Matchmakers like making good matches. When people you know decide to match you up, they tend to rely more on “gut instinct” or even wishful thinking than anything else. Sometimes that works. Most times it doesn’t. But when you use a professional matchmaker, there’s a methodology applied. There is extensive screening. There are personal interviews. And there are certain skills that are applied to insure that you are matched up with a truly suitable person. And so yes, while the first date will be a blind one for you, you can be certain that the matchmaking company put the date together with their eyes wide open.

Matchmaking services respect your investment. We won’t lie to you. You get what you pay for, so if you want a quality first date, you’re going to have to shell out a bit of cash. But if you decide to go with a matchmaking service like Tawkify, rather than spending thousands each month, you can spend $600 instead. At the same time, matchmaking services work for a living just like you do. Therefore, they know that money is not easy to come by. They know that you hiring them means that you made a pretty major investment. Therefore, it matters to them that they give you a good ROI (Return On your Investment).

Tawkify sets up unbelievable dates. One of the reasons why Tawkify is currently getting so much media attention in New York and San Francisco (the two cities they currently service) is because not only are they great at pairing people together (roughly 80 percent of their clients end up going on second dates), but they’re known for also creating mind-blowing dates too. So, if a part of you doesn’t like blind dates because they seem to be the same ole, same ole “dinner and a movie”, a reputable matchmaking service like Tawkify can definitely change your mind. (Just ask the woman whose first date was planning her wedding at Tiffany’s!)

Matchmaking services are tenacious. Say that you decide to go with a professional matchmaking service and your first date doesn’t go so well. If you think you’re disappointed, that’s not even close to how upset the company that set you up will feel! Reputable matchmaking services pride themselves on putting a smile on each client’s face. They take you, your time and your expectations very seriously. And to know that someone else is just as interested in you having a successful blind date as you are? Yeah, isn’t that enough of a reason to at least give them a call? C’mon, what can it hurt? Like, really…what can it hurt to take a chance on an amazing first date with someone who a team of people hand-selected for you? If that doesn’t change your mind…what will?

Picky or Perfectionist: 5 Signs That You’re Being a Bit Too Critical with Your Date

It’s an author by the name of Maureen Dowd who once said “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” So true, so true. Most relationship coaches and even matchmaking services will advise that before you decide to get out (or back out) on the dating scene, it’s always a good idea to think about what you’re looking for; not just in “a date” but when it comes to a relationship as well.

However, here’s the thing to keep in mind as you’re making your list and checking it twice: The list is more like a guidepost than a 100 percent absolute. Translation: If you’re looking for perfection, sorry, but you can pretty much hang that up. The perfect person is only found in love songs and movie screens.

So, how can you know that you’ve gone way past just “being picky” to being somewhat of a perfectionist? Here are five telling signs that can help you to realize if you’re being a bit too critical when it comes to your date.

You want perfection. The first sign has pretty much already been addressed but it is certainly worth reiterating. When something is perfect, it means that it has no flaws and for a human, that is impossible. So, if you want to be with someone who will do everything just the way you’d like them to at all times, get a puppet. There is no person on the planet who is always going to make you happy or is always going to meet your expectations. And you know what? That’s OK. The key is to look for someone who is right for you. Not perfect.

There are too many things you consider to be “wrong” rather than “different”. So, you’re on your first date and the person you’re with doesn’t put their napkin on their lap or they put their elbows on the table. Or they order a meat dish when you’re a vegetarian or an alcoholic beverage when you don’t drink. So what? That doesn’t make them “wrong”, that makes them different. Remember, you’re not looking for a replica of yourself. You’re looking for a kind and caring person who will complement you. Ease up on the “I wouldn’t do such-and-such and so they shouldn’t either” way of thinking. They are an individual. There is certainly nothing wrong with that.

They are listening to you talk more than you are listening to them. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if we’re not listening as well as we should be, so this is something that you might want to ask those closest to you about. But if when you ask “Do you think I cut you off a lot while we’re talking?” and they respond with crickets or “Well…”, you can take that as a “yes”. Sometimes when we feel like what the person we’re spending time with isn’t engaging us in the way we want them to, we’ll have a tendency to cut them off. That’s not great. Not only does it imply that we believe that what have to say is more important but also that what they’re saying (or trying to say) isn’t holding enough of our attention. You can’t get to know someone by only talking about yourself. Good communication does not only consist of conveying our own thoughts but listening (and processing) the thoughts of others too.

You take it upon yourself to correct them. People don’t go on dates to be critiqued. They go on dates to relax and get to know someone better. But if you’re always correcting their grammar or trying to “one up” them on information, that’s going to be perceived as a big (HUGE) turn-off. If you’re an English teacher and their grammar sucks (for example), wait until after the date to determine if it’s something that’s a deal breaker for you. During the date, do your best to grin and bear it. It’s the considerate thing to do.

You’re looking for someone to be who you’re not. This is a bit of an “ouch” but while going down your list, it’s always a smart---and humbling---idea to ask yourself if you have the attributes that you want. If you want someone who is accomplished, ask yourself if you consider yourself to be ambitious. If you want someone who is compassionate, ask yourself how well you respond to your friends when they are hurting or in need. If you want someone who’s in good physical condition…when’s the last time you went to the gym? It’s a lot easier to demand something of others that we don’t do for ourselves. It’s also a bit hypocritical too. And that is the worst kind of critical, don’t you think?

6 Things You Should Consider Before Hiring a Matchmaker

If you’re someone who’s tired of the dating scene, but fix-ups from your friends and/or online dating simply hasn’t been working for you, have you ever considered hiring a matchmaking service? Now before you shake your head from side-to-side and close out this article, just hear us out for a second.

If you decide to go with a quality service like Tawkify, there are a lot of benefits that can come with going this route. You’ll get one-on-one attention. It can save you a lot of time because they’ll be the ones looking for great dates while you’re looking for a great outfit for the date. And, if you even need a bit of dating coaching from time to time, they’re available for that too. (Pretty cool, right?)

Now before you get out your credit card and sign up for a matchmaking service, there are some things that you should consider first. That way, you can be totally confident that you made the best decision.

Here they go:

Consider your budget. As with pretty much everything in life, when it comes to matchmaking services, there are a range of membership costs. Some can literally run you into the thousands. And then there’s Tawkify (one that not only sets you up but puts together unbelievable dates too!) that’s around $600 per month. A relationship is worth investing in, but don’t find yourself going broke in the process. Be clear about what you can afford beforehand.

Consider the service itself. One of the best things about the internet is you’re able to do plenty of research. So, spend some time looking up different matchmaking services and what they offer. For instance, Tawkify is quickly becoming a fan favorite. Its main offices are currently based in New York and San Francisco (although you can video conference with them if you reside elsewhere). As you’re checking different companies out, make sure they have a quality website; that they have social media accounts; that they have several consumer reviews and even some articles about them. Then send them an email and pay attention to the timeliness of the response along with the friendliness and professionalism. All of these things will help you to determine which services are truly the cream of the crop.

Consider your schedule. Although it is a matchmaking company’s job to accommodate you as best as possible, it’s still important to ask yourself if you actually have time to date. Remember that their goal is to connect you with someone in hopes that a relationship will eventually flourish. But if you keep breaking appointments or rescheduling dates, that’s going to become challenging (and a bit frustrating) for everyone involved. Be honest with yourself about your schedule. Then be honest with the service about it too.

Consider your motives. If you want nothing more than a hook-up (eh hem, sex), Tinder can accomplish that. That said, no one’s saying that you have to want to get married. It’s just that quality matchmaking services are very intentional about placing two people who want the same (or at least very close to the same) things. Do you want to casually date? Do you want a serious relationship? Do you desire to be married? These are things that you should be able to answer to yourself and to the service once you reach out to them.

Consider your wants. One thing you can be sure that a matchmaking service is going to ask is what you’re looking for in a person and in a relationship. While they are skilled to help you to get the root of these things, it’s still a good idea to have some kind of an idea beforehand of what’s on your dating wish list. The more you know, the easier the process will be.

Consider why your previous methods haven’t been working. Quality matchmakers are really good at their job. There’s no doubt about that. Still, they’re not Santa Claus (shoot, even Santa Claus is not Santa Claus!). This means that they can only work with what you give them. So, if your approach to dating hasn’t worked before, ask yourself why. Is it because you’re really shy? Is it because you’re too critical of your dates? Is it because you have unrealistic expectations? Is it because you don’t like to try new things? Is it because you’re not sure what you want to ultimately accomplish while dating? Being honest about your past patterns---the counterproductive ones---can help you to figure out how to break them and get a fresh start with a reputable matchmaking service!

Follow-up Etiquette: 5 Things to Do After a Great First Date

A wise man once said that the way something starts often is a prediction of how it will continue to be. Perhaps that’s why so many of us single folks long for great first dates. There really is nothing like meeting up with someone, having an immediate chemistry, going to a place that both of you like and then never wanting the date to end. *sigh*

There are certainly all kinds of scenarios that can lead to a great first date (meeting someone on your own, using an online dating service, testing out a matchmaking company like Tawkify). Unfortunately though, there are a lot of people who end up being so caught up in the euphoria of the experience that they don’t take advantage of the crucial and fragile time following their first date. They overlook things that they should do in order to insure that a second (and hopefully second, third and fourth) date will soon follow.

So, just what is the follow-up etiquette after an amazing first date? Good question. Although there are all kinds of things that you could do, here are five that should definitely go on the very top of your list.

Mention a second date---on the first date. If you’re having a great time, what’s the point in keeping that to yourself? Towards the end of the date, it’s perfectly fine (encouraged even) to say “I hope we can do this again sometime” or “Next time let’s try going to so-and-so.” That let’s your date know that they’re definitely on your radar; that going on a second date is something that you’re definitely interested in doing.

Get their contact information. Does that sound obvious? Yeah, you’d be surprised how many people miss the obvious sometimes. Being that a lot of us are much more tech-savvy than the generations before us, not everyone talks on the phone before going on a first date. Say for instance that you met via one of your social media accounts and everything was via email. Once you’ve met and had a great date, it’s then time to take things up a notch. Getting each other’s phone numbers or asking for another way to get in contact with your date sends the message that you want to get to know them better. And them giving the info to you lets you know that they feel the same way.

Don’t be physically closed off. A professional matchmaker is probably going to recommend that you pump the brakes when it comes to physical intimacy. No matter how good a first date is, you still need more time to get to know someone better before giving up the goods. But that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with extending a hug or kiss on the cheek. It helps to break down any potential barriers. It’s a way of conveying warmth and interest without overdoing it.

Leave a message or send a text that same day. OK, all of that “I don’t want to seem too eager” crap usually tends to backfire. No one is saying to call them 10 times on your way home (that’s a stalker and no one likes them). However, it’s both thoughtful and proactive (proactive is big with the ladies, guys) to leave a voice mail or shoot a text that says “I had a great time on our date. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” It only takes a second and it’s time well spent.

Call within the week. Another mistake that first daters make? Playing the perpetual waiting game. You know: “He should call me first” or “If she’s interested, she’ll call.” Stop it! Just pick up the phone and call. If they’re still interested, you’re that much closer to your second date. If they’re not, well, making the call will let you know that sooner than later. This means you can---and should---move on. Either way, it didn’t take a month to find out what you needed to know. You are able to confidently take the next step in less than a week. Awesome, right? Right.

Curious about Tawkify? Use the promo code etiquette20 for 20% off your membership if you decide to try it today. C'mon, what you got to lose?