If you’re someone who’s always dated the “the old-fashioned way”, you may have never considered going the online dating route or even better (and oftentimes more effective), hiring professional matchmaking service. But here’s just one of the many reasons to give this kind of technology a try: With online dating, you can first get to know someone via their profile and chatting with them online. And if you were to try a great matchmaking service like Tawkify, you could get some tips from a matchmaker on how to communicate with your date in such a way that you can make a great connection. Even as early as your very first encounter.
But no matter how you decide to go about meeting new people, even if you are naturally outgoing, engaging and curious, there may be times of random and albeit awkward silence; especially during the first couple of dates. You know, times when you’re not sure just what to say, times when there is awkward silence…times when you’re not sure what to do to get “over the hump” in the midst of conversations.
If you can certainly relate to what “dead air dating” feels like, here are a few helpful tips to get you through it:
Admit your feelings. Whether you’re shy, nervous or straight up awestruck by how by how attractive your date is, it’s OK to say that. For one thing, it shows that you are comfortable with being both vulnerable and honest and that’s always appealing. Plus, there’s a pretty good chance that your date feels the same way too, so it could be a good ice breaker.
Come with some questions. Although the movies always make it look like dating is so seamless, we live in the real world. The place where people on a first date are oftentimes strangers at first which means that they need time to get to know one another better. The best way to do that is by asking questions. The standard “So where are you from?” and “What do you do for a living?” is OK (kinda), but try and be a bit more intriguing than that: “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?” or “If money were no object, what would you want to accomplish?” These kinds of questions are oftentimes not expected. That means that the person has to really think about the answer which can cause them to find a spontaneous form of delight in the conversation.
Watch your body language. You know what they say, 80 percent of how people respond to us is usually based on our body language more than our words. This doesn’t mean that you need to be a mannequin or even paranoid about how you position yourself. It just means that if your arms are crossed, it could be seen as being a bit closed off or if you roll your eyes while your date as talking, they might feel like you are a bit condescending. The point here is to try and send the kind of non-verbal signals that you would want to receive. This alone can nip a lot of the awkward communication moments right in the bud.
Give a compliment. Something that everyone likes to receive are compliments. So, if the dead air is at the beginning of a date or towards the end of it, it’s a good move to say “You look really nice tonight” or “You know what? I had a really good time with you.” Unless the date is a total bust, that’s another way to ease out of an uncomfortable spot and start engaging one another again.
Use a bit of humor. A knock-knock joke? Eh, that’s probably not going to fly over so well. But a funny story about a previous date that you went on could possibly evoke a smile or even a few laughs. As a bonus, you’re letting your date know that you have a sense of humor and who isn’t looking for someone with that quality?
Whatever you do (or don’t do), just remember to relax and to not try and force things. It’s perfectly fine to have moments of silence and it’s totally expected that things may be a bit awkward from time to time. So long as you’re showing genuine effort, you can get past it. You can walk away feeling as if you just had one of the best dates of your entire life. Dead air (so long as it’s seconds and not minutes worth) and all!