There are some people who have never really considered using an online dating service or hiring a professional matchmaker in order to help them with their dating life. The way they see it, why pay for someone to do what they can do for free? (You know, find a date.)
Well, the title of this article is one huge reason why it’s at least worth giving a try. With an online dating service, you’re at least able to see someone’s profile beforehand. And even better, with a matchmaking service like Tawkify, you can have someone do a lot of filtering for you. That’s because professional matchmakers spend a considerable about of time determining what two people would be the most ideal for one another based on looks, personalities and even lifestyles. They’re aware of the fact that the more compatible two people are, the more likely they will be initially attracted to one another. And that could lead eventually lead to a potential relationship.
But whether you’re set up by a friend or you decide to go on a first date via an online dating or matchmaking option, there is always a chance that you might not be as attracted as you would’ve hoped. If that’s the case, don’t excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then never come back (that would be brutal if someone did that to you, right?). There are actually some more tactful (and productive) ways to handle it. Try these tips instead.
Process what you’re not attracted to. Unless it’s a blind date, you probably already knew what the person looked like. But if in person, they are shorter (or taller) than you would prefer, they look a lot older (or younger) than they did in their pictures or it’s even something like you hate their sense of style---at the end of the day all of these things are “surface issues”. On the other hand, if they’re rude or arrogant or your personalities simply do not mesh, that can end up being a much bigger problem. So silently (please do this in your head), think about what specifically you are not attracted to. That will help you to decide if there’s no chance for a second date or if you simply need to…lighten up a bit.
If they’re open to a second date, give it a try. Look, if on the first date they are a class A jerk, we support you blocking their number and moving on with your life. But if you’re on the fence and they ask to go out on another date, why not give it a try? There are a lot of married couples who will tell you that while there was not an immediate spark between them, the more time they spent together, a slow fire began to grow. Plus, sometimes people are nervous on a first date and you don’t get to see who they truly are because of it. It’s only another two hours (give or take) of your life. And you never know what might come from it by making the additional investment.
Make peace with the “friend zone”. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on first dates is “throwing out the bathtub with the bathwater” or as grandma used to say “cutting off their nose to spite their face”. Meaning, they go into a dating situation with an all-or-nothing mindset. Then, if the date isn’t as awesome as they would like, they cut all ties. Although the ultimate goal is to go on a date in hopes of making a love connection, not all of them are going to work out that way. What’s important is to keep an open mind. Some people are not your type, but that doesn’t mean that the two of you still can’t be friends. And who knows? If the two of you become cool enough and they get to know you better, they might realize that they have a friend who would be just perfect for you. At the very least, you might end up with a friend for life! So, if you’re not attracted, it’s not the end of the world. Stick around, at least through dessert, to see if there is something about them that you find to be interesting. Interesting enough to at least become a great acquaintance or even better---an awesome platonic friend.