Question. Have you ever been on a date with someone before who was attractive, smart and funny and yet they still turned you off? But here’s the thing: in hindsight, you could never really put your finger on why. You basically chalked it up to there being no chemistry or your professional matchmaker somehow missing something while filling out your profile information.
If you totally get where we’re coming from, we’re glad that you’re checking this article out. Although it would take an entire book to cover all of the things that can turn someone off on a date, we do have five that may help you to pinpoint what your own dating pet peeves are. Plus, by seeing these things in black and white, it may also prevent you from being the kind of person who causes the individual you’re on a date with to give you some serious side-eye.
Check these out:
Being rude to those around you. Someone who’s been on more than a couple of dates before is going to be aware of the fact that it’s common and natural for people to want to put their best face forward when they’re on a date. It’s not so much that they are being “fake” as they don’t want the not-so-stellar parts of their personality to show before being able to make a pretty good first impression. That’s why, when people are first getting to know individuals, it’s not uncommon for them to watch how their date is treating the individuals around them. So, if you’re rude to your server, if you have road rage, if you are snappy to others in the movie line, an observant person is going to take note. And no matter how nice you may be to them, they’re going to sense that you have a rude sign to you. And yeah, that’s definitely not a good look.
Not turning off your phone. Unless you’re a physician who’s on call or you happen to have someone in your family who is extremely ill, there’s really no reason to have your phone on and there’s certainly no reason to be checking your notifications every 10 minutes while you’re on a date. The best way to let someone know that they are a priority to you is to offer up your undivided attention. And one of the best ways to do that is to put your phone on silent (or at the very least, on vibrate).
Gossiping. Eleanor Roosevelt once said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” And when you’re on a date with someone (especially a first or second date), the last thing that you want them to think is that you have a “small mind”. So whether you’re meeting the person for the first time or you’ve met before and have already established that you know some of the same people, keep gossiping down to a minimum. Aside from the quote that we already shared, you might be familiar with this one as well: “If they’ll gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you.” Gossip speaks to being a bit on the messy side. You definitely don’t want to be seen in that kind of light.
Trying to rush physical affection. When you’re just getting to know someone, it’s important that you are careful when it comes to observing their boundaries; especially their physical boundaries. So, unless they are giving you direct cues that they want to kiss, cuddle or otherwise, pump the brakes when it comes to initiating physical affection. Although in your mind, you might think that it’s coming off as being sentimental or endearing, to others it might translate as being nothing more than…pushy.
Doing a lot of comparisons. Wanna know one clear indication that you’re not over your ex yet? It’s if you’re constantly bringing them up while you’re on a date. Or worse, you’re comparing them to your date. Both of these are ultimate turn-offs. While we’re at it, so are bringing up celebrities that you like and sizing them up to your date. We’re pretty sure that you would find these things super tacky if they were done to you so yeah...avoiding turning your date off by comparing them to other people. You’re with them. Focus on them. Affirm them. Show that you are truly interested in them. No matter who they are, they will find that to be the ultimate on-a-date turn on!