First Date No-Nos: Places You SHOULDN'T Go on a First Date

Something that’s awesome about hiring a reputable professional matchmaker is the fact that you don’t have to worry about selecting a venue for your first date. It is totally up the matchmaker to choose a location where you and your date will be comfortable.

But if you’re going to go on a first date with someone that hasn’t been set up by a matchmaker, then selecting a locale is going to be extremely important being that first impressions can make or break a first date.

Previously, we penned a piece on great date ideas (you can click here to read it). But if you’re curious to know about the kind of first dates that we think are absolute no-nos, we’re glad that you’re checking this out. Why? Because if you have a date coming up soon and any of these are on the list, our recommendation is to go back to the drawing board. Because again, it can’t be stressed enough, that first impressions really do matter---and these five dates usually do not impress most folks.

We’re thinking you’ll see why after we break it all down…

A double date. While initially this one might seem pretty harmless, unless your first date is with someone you’ve known for a while, it can be a train wreck waiting to happen. Here’s why: If you’re the one who suggests a double date, then that probably means you know the couple who will be tagging along. This means that you already have a rapport and connection with those individuals which can ironically result in your date feeling like the third (or technically fourth) wheel. A first date needs to be about you getting to know the person better. You’re probably going to end up being pretty distracted if there are two other people around.

A place where you’re performing. Although you might think that it would be awesome for your date to come to an open mic, an art showing or something else where you are in the spotlight, oftentimes things don’t go as planned. For one thing, it tends to translate as being a bit arrogant. Secondly, you may end up being so busy entertaining your guests/fans that they won’t get much time in with you. Plus, if they don’t know anyone else there, it could get to be pretty awkward because unless they are an uber extrovert, they might feel a bit out of place (understandably so).

Anywhere you know your ex will be. Even if you and your ex are friends and you still hang out together or in the same circles, try and avoid having your date meet them for the first time on a first date. They don’t know you well enough yet to understand the history, so you run the risk of it translating as “you’re not over your ex” rather than “it’s all good”.

Anywhere you know your family will be. Family (or friends who feel like family). No matter how much you love them and enjoy showing them off to other people, table that for a while when it comes to first (and second and third) dates. One reason is similar to what we said about exes (you’ll be familiar with your surroundings although they won’t be). Another reason is because we’re pretty sure that your family wants you to find true love, but getting them involved too soon could end up putting a lot of pressure on your date. That’s not going to translate as fun; just stressful. And who wants that on a first date?

A wedding. Or a funeral. It might seem odd to put both of these together but hear us out. Yes, weddings are a joyous occasion while funerals are a sorrowful one. However, the thing that they both have in common is they’re extremely intimate. Therefore, it sends the message that you invited the person with you because you want them to be a part of such an intricate part of your world. And how can you really know that on a first date? Yeah, leave the weddings and funerals off of the list and go with dinner, dancing, a picnic, a hike or something else along those lines instead. It will put you in a better light and the potential for a great relationship on a much better plane.

First Date Woes: 5 Things to NOT Bring Up on a First Date

Bad first dates. We’ve all been on at least one of them. And while sometimes it’s due to the fact that we were set up with someone that we’re simply not compatible with, there are other times when, no matter how good of a job that a friend or professional matchmaker does in the pairing up, the issue ultimately ends up being, not a lack of chemistry but poor communication.

In other words, things could’ve gone exceptionally well if the conversation (and perhaps body language) had been better…

But when we know better, we do better, right? So, in the effort of making sure that your next first date ends up being one that’s worth extending to a second and third, here are five things that really shouldn’t be brought up on the first date.

Someone’s financial situation. Unless you’re independently wealthy, do you really want to sit and talk to someone about what’s in your bank account or how much money you make at your job? So, why would you think that your date would want to do it? Bringing up things like someone’s credit history, financial woes or debt is really more of a way of being a downer than anything else. Plus, if you’re a man, it comes off as being pretty pretentious and if you’re a woman, like an opportunist. Dates are supposed to be fun and light. Financial conversations tend to be serious and heavy. Leave money off of the table.

Someone’s childhood. The reason why this one goes on the list is because it really is a wild card if the person you’re seeing had a good childhood or not. After all, it’s a wise person who once said that adulthood is about surviving childhood. That said, other than inquiring about how many siblings they have or where they were born or grew up, it’s best to not initiate anything deep on the first date. If this topic comes up, let it be because they volunteered information; not that you asked.

Someone’s sexual history. If you’re someone who participates in casual sex on a fairly regular basis, please make sure that you always carry protection with you. Sex on a first date is risky at best because unless you’re going out with someone that you’ve known on a platonic level, they are basically a stranger to you. But if you want to wait a while before taking that step, the first date is not the time to want to find out someone’s “body count”. No matter what your motive may be for asking, it’s nosey at best and judgmental at worst. When you’re intimate enough to sleep together, that’s when it’s a more appropriate time to ask about someone’s sexual history (if it even matters at all once you get to know their heart a bit better).

Someone’s appearance. OK, this one might seem a bit odd to bring up but you’d be amazed by how many people will take it upon themselves to be someone else’s fashion critic or personal trainer. All of us have things that we could improve upon, including physically. But on a first date, you have not even come close to earning the kind of trust that you need in order to offer criticism---no matter how “constructive” you might personally feel that it is. So yeah, when it comes to how someone looks and what you think they could do to make them look better…keep that to yourself. Share it with your best friend after your date (if you must).

Your habits/issues/drama. Your date is not your therapist. So, when it comes to all of the stuff that you have going on in your life, try and keep that at bay as well. If you’re a single parent currently in a custody dispute, if you have a sense that you’re about to be fired from your job, if you’re quietly wondering if you’re a binge drinker, if you know that you have sex too soon with people or if you’re trying to figure out why you have such a dirty house…it’s not like those things are not going to come out eventually. But right now what you need to focus on is putting forth a good first impression. You’ll have forever to talk about the issues that you have. For now, just focus on the good in your life. That will make for great first date conversation!