Yeah. We’re pretty sure that you’ve heard of the “three date rule” before. There are a lot of people who set that as a personal milestone for when they’re ready to engage in sexual intimacy with the person they are dating.
However, this article isn’t about that. At least not specifically.
When it comes to that unofficial rule, we will agree with it in the sense that if you’ve gone on a second date with someone, that is usually an indication that both of you are pretty interested in one another (that’s why matchmaking companies like Tawkify are proud of the fact that over 80 percent of their clients end up going on a second date with one another). And if the second date goes well, a third date sends the message that something very promising is happening.
That’s why if you’re preparing to go on a second date with someone, it’s important that you’re intentional about taking things up a notch.
We’re not saying that it’s time to start picking out engagement rings and baby names. But it is a good idea to bring up a few topics to see if this could be the relationship that you’ve always been looking for or if you’d probably be better off being just friends. (Good friends but just friends nonetheless.)
So, what are the things that you should be open to discussing on your third date? Here’s our “six list”:
Are you looking to be in a relationship? You’d be surprised how many people have absolutely no problem casually dating (multiple people, we might add) for months on end without it going any further than that. So yes, on your third date, you are well within your rights to ask your date if they’re interested in having a relationship. Just remember that there is no right or wrong answer to this question. You’re simply asking so that you can gain an understanding about if they want what you do.
When’s the last time you were in a relationship? If you can avoid dating someone who is on the rebound, we highly recommend it. The only way to know that is by asking your date about the last time they were in a relationship. If it's only been a few weeks since their last break-up, that doesn’t automatically mean that you should stop seeing them. What it does mean, though, is that you should definitely take things slower both emotionally and sexually. A break-up is like a wound that needs time to heal. Plus, people are usually not able to make the best decisions about what’s right for them in a new relationship until they’ve resolved an old (the last) one.
Do you have time for a relationship? Even if the person you’re dating wants to be in a relationship, that doesn’t always mean that they have the kind of time to invest in the type of one that you may want. For instance, if you desire to go out on dates every weekend and they work a second job, that, in time, could prove to be a bit frustrating. Discussing one another’s schedules is a courteous thing to do. It will also help you to gain a greater understanding of what you can/should expect in the future.
Who are the closest people to you? You can find out a lot about a person by listening to them talk to you about their family members and friends. People whose parents are still happily married may help to give you a sense of stability. People who’ve had the same best friend since high school may speak to their level of loyalty. People who are close to their siblings might help you to feel like they are sensitive and embrace family life. Yep. It’s always a good idea to know about the person you’re dating’s other relationships. It can help you to learn more about them and that’s essential.
What are your sexual expectations? Some folks might think this is being too abrupt, but sex is a part of a relationship. Besides, if someone is trying to spend more and more time with you, this means that they want to get closer to you. This means that you should know just how close--and when. Can you just imagine what it would be like for a person who wants to be abstinent until marriage to try and maintain a relationship with someone who thinks that sex less than 2-3 times per week is a dry spell? This doesn’t mean that you have to say “So, are you looking to have sex tonight?” It simply means that once you hit three dates, it’s OK to share your personal stance on sex and the purpose that it serves for you.
What new things do you want to try? Once you’ve gotten some of the heavier things out of the way, don’t forget to ask about what they’d like to do (preferably with you) that they’ve never done before. One of the best things about a budding relationship is it gives you the opportunity to not only experience a new individual but hopefully associate them with trying some new things too. Dinner and a movie is so cliché and by the third date, you’ve probably already done it. On the fourth date, do something fun, exciting and unique. It’s a surefire way to take your dating relationship to another level. In an enjoyable, lighthearted and yet productive kind of way.