Dating. Like so many other things, there is an “art” to it.
We say this because although the ultimate objective of dating is to get to know someone better so that you both can determine if you want to be in a relationship, the initial dating experience is a process.
Being that so many people start dating through a professional matchmaking service, a connection through an online profile, a set-up from a friend or co-worker or even a stranger that they met in the grocery store or in the mall, everyone needs a few tips on how to ease into dating. That way, both individuals can get the most out of each date that they go one. That way, they can both walk away knowing that it was time well spent.
So, if you have a date coming up this weekend, we wanted to provide you with a list of some common dating mistakes that people tend to make. If you take note of these, we’re confident that your date will be fun and purposeful---that you’ll be one step closer to knowing if they are someone you want to spend more time with. Or not.
Mistake #1: Talking more than listening. Although a part of the purpose of the date is certainly that they are able to get to know you better, remember that you need to get to know them too. Therefore, pay attention to how many questions you ask vs. answer. Take note of if you find yourself going on and on without letting them get a word in edgewise. And more than anything, observe if you have a habit of cutting them off in mid-sentence. When people do that, it basically translates into “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry up and finish because what I have to say is more important.” (Basically it’s arrogant and just plain rude.)
Mistake #2: Being distracted. Unless you’re a doctor on-call or a parent, is there really a good enough reason for having your smartphone on the table or to not turn off your notifications? Whatever picture your best friend just posted up on their Instagram or whatever text your co-worker sent you, it can wait. Quality time consists of giving someone your undivided attention. You can’t do that when you’re distracted.
Mistake #3: Ignoring your body language. We actually shared an article on body language not too long ago (you can check it out here) because we’re firm believers that you can say a lot…without saying a thing. If you’re rolling your eyes (or not making eye contact), if you’re pursing your lips or you’re talking the entire time with your arms folded, none of these things send the warmest of signals. We’re not saying to be super-conscientious. We’re just saying that it’s always a good idea to be aware of what your face and body are doing; especially while you’re in the midst of engaging someone new.
Mistake #4: Not treating customer service well. You might be treating your date with the utmost care and respect. But if you’re short with your server, you don’t tip or you’re impolite to the individuals around you, your date is going to take note. For one thing, it comes off as if you may have a side to your personality that you’re hiding (not good). Secondly, it can appear as if you’re vain and pretentious (even worse). It’s always a good idea to keep in mind that the sign of good character is how you treat everyone around you; not just the ones that you’re consciously trying to impress.
Mistake #5: Avoiding any kind of affection. No, we’re not talking about sex. That is totally your call and we definitely get why you may not want to rush into anything that serious. What we mean is it’s OK to touch your date’s had while you’re talking, to flirt or to kiss them on the cheek (or even offer a peck) at the end of a date. People want to feel comfortable when they’re on a date; like the person they’re spending time with is not building up walls but are actually letting some down. One way to “let someone in”, even if it’s in moderation, is to be affectionate. Not just physically affectionate but verbally too. Be affirming. Be complementary. Be the kind of person you would want to go out on a date with. It’s the Golden Rule for real dating success!