Do you have a date coming up this weekend? If so, be honest. How do you feel about it?
If it’s your first date (perhaps one that you got through a professional matchmaker service), then we’re willing to bet that you’re a bit nervous. On the other hand, if it’s your second or third, although the initial anxiety may be gone, you’ve probably entered into the stage where you’re wondering if there could possibly be a real future with the person that you’re seeing. Either way, we’re glad that you’re reading this article because hopefully, it’s going to provide you with a few insights on how you can make the most out of your dating experiences.
You see, what we’re about to do is share with you some popular dating myths. Ones that a lot of people seem to apply that, interestingly enough, can actually keep people from finding the real and lasting love that they’re looking for.
Are you curious to know what some of those myths are?
Cool. We’re more than happy to debunk them for you.
“If I’m not immediately attracted, what’s the point?” Although it would be awesome if every couple felt an immediate physical attraction to one another, the reality is there are a lot of happily married people who will tell you that wasn’t their experience with their spouse when they first met. Sadly, sometimes people mistake passion for real potential. Meaning, just because someone doesn’t look like your teenage crush or make your heart flip at the sight of them, that doesn’t mean that they are not someone who has the ability to pull at your heart strings, in time. Look, there are a ton of celebrities who are attractive---and alone. There are also a lot of “pretty people” who are straight-up jerks. Even if someone doesn’t catch your eye at first, give it some time. Sometimes the more you get to know a person’s personality, the more appealing they become. Mentally, emotionally and yes, even physically.
“We have to agree with most things in order to be compatible.” There’s a man who once said “When two people are just alike, one of them is unnecessary.” In other words, a healthy relationship should stretch you; it should help you to grow. That tends to happen more when you’re involved with someone who doesn’t have all of the same views and opinions as you do. Don’t look for someone who is your relational clone. Look for someone who listens, respects what you have to say and always gives you a new way to seeing things.
“You should know in 3-5 dates if someone is ‘the one’.” Yes, there are some people who will tell you that the moment they set eyes on their significant other, they knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with them. But that tends to be more of the exception than the rule. Therefore, don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself or the person that you’re seeing to know if you can see forever with them after only a few dates. Some of the best things happen gradually, not instantaneously.
“All dates should be over-the-top experiences.” Although wining and dining are awesome, let The Bachelor (and The Bachelorette) serve as blaring reminders that you need more than a swanky date to keep someone interested for the long haul. Going on impressive dates, especially in the beginning, provides a pretty nice first impression. But don’t underestimate the quality time and awesome memories that can also come from a picnic or stroll through the park.
“If they’re not seeing only me, they are not interested in getting serious.” As with many things in life, dating comes in stages and during the initial one, it’s perfectly fine if the person you’re seeing is still seeing other people too. It takes a while for individuals to come to the conclusion that they want to be exclusive, and what you don’t want to do is put the pressure on them to make a decision before they are ready. Remember, you want someone to choose you rather than feel like they were being put on a time clock or given some crazy ultimatum by you.
“What I don’t like about a person, I can always change---later.” Not only is this probably one of the biggest dating myths on the entire planet, but it’s also the cause for a lot of divorces too! Besides, how would you feel if you found out that the person you’re interested in doesn’t like you for who you are, but is keeping it to themselves believing that they can change you once they “seal the deal”? Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are. So if you don’t like something about someone, mention it, learn to deal with it or make the decision that your next date…should also be your last.