Marriage Material: 6 Signs That You're Dating Someone Who Is

If you’re single and been considering hiring a professional matchmaker to assist you in finding someone special, here’s one great reason to strongly consider it: If you’re simply looking to casually date, you might not need their assistance. But if a long-term relationship is what you’re looking for, they have the skills to be able to connect with you someone who not only desires the same things that you do, but shows signs of truly being a great complement for you and your lifestyle. This means that if you desire to get married someday professional matchmaking companies are going to strive to pair you up with someone who sees marriage as a part of their future too.

But what if you’re someone who happens to be a little gun shy simply because you’ve had a few dead-end relationships before? What if you’re tired of wasting time with people who don’t mind going on a few dates, but aren’t really looking for anything serious?

If you understand exactly where we are coming from and you’d like to know within the first few dates if someone is truly marriage material, here are six signs that can help you to get the answers that you’re looking for.

They tell you that they want to be married. One of the most obvious signs that someone wants to be married is, ironically, overlooked by a lot of people. Individuals who desire marriage and are dating for that express purpose are individuals who have absolutely no problem saying it. So, if while on a date, if you ask “Do you want to get married someday?” and they dance around the topic, take note. For people who are marriage material, it’s not an uncomfortable or complex question. It is a direct one.

They’re mature. A huge mistake that a lot of people make in relationships is paying attention to the qualities of a person without looking for evidence of their maturity level. For instance, someone can be really smart and funny, but if they still have a “college mentality” of wanting to hang out all night and engage in “hook ups”, that’s not really someone to consider spending forever with. A mature person is going to show signs of taking an adult approach to things. “Partying” isn’t their objective. Future planning is.

There are signs of stability. Although all of us are on different time clocks when it comes to reaching our goals and aspirations, a person who is marriage material is going to be more stable than most. You will see and hear evidence of them being clear about their professional life. Their finances will not be in total disarray. If they do live with their parents, there will be a reasonable reason why (like one of them is sick or they are finishing up their college education and living with them to save money). All in all, they will make you feel like being with them will be a partnership; not like you will be taking care of their basic needs in order for them to survive.

You will be courted more than dated. So, what’s the difference between dating and courting (you can read a thorough explanation here)? Basically, courting is about dating with intention. It’s not just about calling someone up to go to dinner and a movie, but spending time with another person in order to find out if it can turn into something lasting or not. People who court ask insightful questions. People who court don’t mind putting (emotional) intimacy before sex. People who court bring you around the people who are important to them. In short, they tend to be very marriage-minded and they are not shy about letting you know it.

They complement you well. Looking for Mr. or Ms. Right is not about finding your carbon copy. We actually believe that it’s hard to grow as an individual if you’re involved with someone who is just like you. At the same time, it is important to find the kind of person who complements you well. This includes sharing similar values. This includes them making you feel respected, safe and appreciated. This also includes you not feeling like the relationship is hard; and by that we don’t mean that it’s not work (all relationships require work), but that you’re not confused about where you stand, or you feel like you’re the only one who is investing into it.

The relationship makes steady progression. A person who is willing to casually date for months and months on end without any discussion of where the relationship is headed is not really marriage material. That’s not the say that marriage should be brought up in the first three dates, but if someone does have the goal of establishing a long-term relationship with you, you are going to see things moving forward. Dates and communication will be consistent. Talks of meeting family members and friends will come up. Questions about where you see your life in six months or next year will be asked. Titles will be established. Bottom line, goals will be set, and met, at a pretty steady pace. When you’re seeing someone and all of this is happening, smile. We’re pretty confident that you are seeing someone who is truly marriage material!

Marriage Bound: 5 Signs That You Could Be Headed to the Altar

Last fall, Time published an article that had this title: “Why 25% of Millennials Will Never Get Married”. If you get a chance, it’s definitely worth checking out, but this gist is a lot of people under the age of 35 are projected to be single forever “partly because they don’t have jobs and partly because marriage is becoming less highly-regarded”.

Of course, if you’re someone who falls into this demographic, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never get married. First of all, this article is talking about 25 percent, not 75 or even 45. Secondly, we’re a firm believer that if you want something, you can have it. As a matter of fact, about a couple of weeks before that Time article was released, Huffington Post also did a feature on the topic. Its title was “15 Truthful Reasons Men Want to Get Married”.

Some of the reasons include:

Marriage allows me to show my love in a way that nothing else can.

It allows me to fully commit myself to one person.

Life is easier when you have a partner by your side.

The thought of loving someone forever makes me happy.

Life is so much better with a spouse.

Yes. A lot of people still honor marriage. And if you’re someone who happens to agree with these points, you’re probably not using a professional matchmaker, creating an online dating profile or letting someone set you up just for the heck of it. Or, if you’re already in a relationship and it’s been going well for several months now, you’re probably hoping that eventually “dating” will turn into an engagement and then a wedding.

Time is precious, right? It’s actually the one commodity that none of us can ever get back. So, how can you be sure that a relationship shows the true signs of heading towards the altar---if that’s indeed what you want to happen? Here are five surefire indications:

You both want to get married. A huge mistake that unfortunately a lot of people make is going into a relationship with someone without knowing if they have marriage on their agenda---or not. It’s a lot like getting married without both people discussing whether or not they want to have kids. There are many couples who find themselves having great chemistry, amazing intimacy and a really good time together, only to discover that when it comes to marriage, they’re nowhere close to being on the same page. There’s no way that you’re going to be headed towards the altar with someone if getting married is not something that they want to do. On the other hand, if the person you’re seeing wants to have a husband or wife someday (preferably within the same time frame as you do), then you can rest assure that they are basically approaching the relationship with a similar goal: a long-term relationship that will hopefully transition into something far more permanent.

They are not in a rush. When someone is looking for a “good time” or to “casually date”, they honestly tend to be a bit more reckless when it comes to how they approach things like intimacy. That’s because whether the relationship works out or not, in their mind they’re like “Well, at least we got some fun out of it.” But when someone wants to take things more seriously, the pace tends to be a lot slower. Establishing emotional intimacy is much more of a priority. Courting rather than dating tends to take place. So, if the person you’re seeing is not quick to sleep with you, if dates consist of more talking than anything else and if they seem to be perfectly content just getting to know you as a person, this is another indication that the potential for marriage, eventually, could be on the horizon.

They include you in their future---and future plans. Here’s another great sign that marriage may be on the way, someday. When a person wants you to be in their life for the long run, they are going to incorporate you into their future. They will mention bringing you along for family functions and the holiday season. They will talk about what they want to do with you on their upcoming birthday. They will ask you where you see your life being in the next one, two or five years. Sure, marriage may not be on the horizon tomorrow, but if someone is clear about wanting you around months and years up the road, it shows great promise of being a part of both of your future plans.

You see progress in the relationship. Even stagnant water stinks. And here’s what we mean by that. If you’ve been seeing someone for a while now but you haven’t met their family or friends, there’s no talk about where the relationship is going and titles have not shifted from “friend” to “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, this means that things are a bit stagnant and that’s usually not a good sign. A wise man once said that when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible. Translation: When a person wants to get married and they feel you are the one they want to get married to, the relationship is going to progress from one stage to another at a pretty steady pace. This means that if you feel like your relationship is pretty much in the same place that it was six months ago…that’s a red flag. It’s also something worth bringing up. Sooner than later.

Marriage is a comfortable conversation to have. Commitment-phobic people are going to find the topic of marriage to be the equivalent of pulling out a fingernail. With a plier. Soaked in vinegar. But when someone is not afraid of commitment, they are ready and willing to freely discuss the topic of marriage and all that comes with it. The great thing about this is if you’re seeing someone who embraces marriage, you both can be open and honest about your expectations and needs as it relates to the topic. That way, you both can know sooner than later if you’re both right for one another. Or not. That’s awesome because either you’ll know that you’re ready for the altar with them or that it’s time to bring things to an end so that you can get to the one you’re truly meant to marry. Either way, when you’re seeing someone who is interested in getting married, it’s a win/win. You both want the same thing, and you both want to see one another get it. Whether it’s together or apart. And you both will want to find the answer. Just as soon as possible.