Last fall, Time published an article that had this title: “Why 25% of Millennials Will Never Get Married”. If you get a chance, it’s definitely worth checking out, but this gist is a lot of people under the age of 35 are projected to be single forever “partly because they don’t have jobs and partly because marriage is becoming less highly-regarded”.
Of course, if you’re someone who falls into this demographic, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never get married. First of all, this article is talking about 25 percent, not 75 or even 45. Secondly, we’re a firm believer that if you want something, you can have it. As a matter of fact, about a couple of weeks before that Time article was released, Huffington Post also did a feature on the topic. Its title was “15 Truthful Reasons Men Want to Get Married”.
Some of the reasons include:
Marriage allows me to show my love in a way that nothing else can.
It allows me to fully commit myself to one person.
Life is easier when you have a partner by your side.
The thought of loving someone forever makes me happy.
Life is so much better with a spouse.
Yes. A lot of people still honor marriage. And if you’re someone who happens to agree with these points, you’re probably not using a professional matchmaker, creating an online dating profile or letting someone set you up just for the heck of it. Or, if you’re already in a relationship and it’s been going well for several months now, you’re probably hoping that eventually “dating” will turn into an engagement and then a wedding.
Time is precious, right? It’s actually the one commodity that none of us can ever get back. So, how can you be sure that a relationship shows the true signs of heading towards the altar---if that’s indeed what you want to happen? Here are five surefire indications:
You both want to get married. A huge mistake that unfortunately a lot of people make is going into a relationship with someone without knowing if they have marriage on their agenda---or not. It’s a lot like getting married without both people discussing whether or not they want to have kids. There are many couples who find themselves having great chemistry, amazing intimacy and a really good time together, only to discover that when it comes to marriage, they’re nowhere close to being on the same page. There’s no way that you’re going to be headed towards the altar with someone if getting married is not something that they want to do. On the other hand, if the person you’re seeing wants to have a husband or wife someday (preferably within the same time frame as you do), then you can rest assure that they are basically approaching the relationship with a similar goal: a long-term relationship that will hopefully transition into something far more permanent.
They are not in a rush. When someone is looking for a “good time” or to “casually date”, they honestly tend to be a bit more reckless when it comes to how they approach things like intimacy. That’s because whether the relationship works out or not, in their mind they’re like “Well, at least we got some fun out of it.” But when someone wants to take things more seriously, the pace tends to be a lot slower. Establishing emotional intimacy is much more of a priority. Courting rather than dating tends to take place. So, if the person you’re seeing is not quick to sleep with you, if dates consist of more talking than anything else and if they seem to be perfectly content just getting to know you as a person, this is another indication that the potential for marriage, eventually, could be on the horizon.
They include you in their future---and future plans. Here’s another great sign that marriage may be on the way, someday. When a person wants you to be in their life for the long run, they are going to incorporate you into their future. They will mention bringing you along for family functions and the holiday season. They will talk about what they want to do with you on their upcoming birthday. They will ask you where you see your life being in the next one, two or five years. Sure, marriage may not be on the horizon tomorrow, but if someone is clear about wanting you around months and years up the road, it shows great promise of being a part of both of your future plans.
You see progress in the relationship. Even stagnant water stinks. And here’s what we mean by that. If you’ve been seeing someone for a while now but you haven’t met their family or friends, there’s no talk about where the relationship is going and titles have not shifted from “friend” to “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, this means that things are a bit stagnant and that’s usually not a good sign. A wise man once said that when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible. Translation: When a person wants to get married and they feel you are the one they want to get married to, the relationship is going to progress from one stage to another at a pretty steady pace. This means that if you feel like your relationship is pretty much in the same place that it was six months ago…that’s a red flag. It’s also something worth bringing up. Sooner than later.
Marriage is a comfortable conversation to have. Commitment-phobic people are going to find the topic of marriage to be the equivalent of pulling out a fingernail. With a plier. Soaked in vinegar. But when someone is not afraid of commitment, they are ready and willing to freely discuss the topic of marriage and all that comes with it. The great thing about this is if you’re seeing someone who embraces marriage, you both can be open and honest about your expectations and needs as it relates to the topic. That way, you both can know sooner than later if you’re both right for one another. Or not. That’s awesome because either you’ll know that you’re ready for the altar with them or that it’s time to bring things to an end so that you can get to the one you’re truly meant to marry. Either way, when you’re seeing someone who is interested in getting married, it’s a win/win. You both want the same thing, and you both want to see one another get it. Whether it’s together or apart. And you both will want to find the answer. Just as soon as possible.