If you’re single and been considering hiring a professional matchmaker to assist you in finding someone special, here’s one great reason to strongly consider it: If you’re simply looking to casually date, you might not need their assistance. But if a long-term relationship is what you’re looking for, they have the skills to be able to connect with you someone who not only desires the same things that you do, but shows signs of truly being a great complement for you and your lifestyle. This means that if you desire to get married someday professional matchmaking companies are going to strive to pair you up with someone who sees marriage as a part of their future too.
But what if you’re someone who happens to be a little gun shy simply because you’ve had a few dead-end relationships before? What if you’re tired of wasting time with people who don’t mind going on a few dates, but aren’t really looking for anything serious?
If you understand exactly where we are coming from and you’d like to know within the first few dates if someone is truly marriage material, here are six signs that can help you to get the answers that you’re looking for.
They tell you that they want to be married. One of the most obvious signs that someone wants to be married is, ironically, overlooked by a lot of people. Individuals who desire marriage and are dating for that express purpose are individuals who have absolutely no problem saying it. So, if while on a date, if you ask “Do you want to get married someday?” and they dance around the topic, take note. For people who are marriage material, it’s not an uncomfortable or complex question. It is a direct one.
They’re mature. A huge mistake that a lot of people make in relationships is paying attention to the qualities of a person without looking for evidence of their maturity level. For instance, someone can be really smart and funny, but if they still have a “college mentality” of wanting to hang out all night and engage in “hook ups”, that’s not really someone to consider spending forever with. A mature person is going to show signs of taking an adult approach to things. “Partying” isn’t their objective. Future planning is.
There are signs of stability. Although all of us are on different time clocks when it comes to reaching our goals and aspirations, a person who is marriage material is going to be more stable than most. You will see and hear evidence of them being clear about their professional life. Their finances will not be in total disarray. If they do live with their parents, there will be a reasonable reason why (like one of them is sick or they are finishing up their college education and living with them to save money). All in all, they will make you feel like being with them will be a partnership; not like you will be taking care of their basic needs in order for them to survive.
You will be courted more than dated. So, what’s the difference between dating and courting (you can read a thorough explanation here)? Basically, courting is about dating with intention. It’s not just about calling someone up to go to dinner and a movie, but spending time with another person in order to find out if it can turn into something lasting or not. People who court ask insightful questions. People who court don’t mind putting (emotional) intimacy before sex. People who court bring you around the people who are important to them. In short, they tend to be very marriage-minded and they are not shy about letting you know it.
They complement you well. Looking for Mr. or Ms. Right is not about finding your carbon copy. We actually believe that it’s hard to grow as an individual if you’re involved with someone who is just like you. At the same time, it is important to find the kind of person who complements you well. This includes sharing similar values. This includes them making you feel respected, safe and appreciated. This also includes you not feeling like the relationship is hard; and by that we don’t mean that it’s not work (all relationships require work), but that you’re not confused about where you stand, or you feel like you’re the only one who is investing into it.
The relationship makes steady progression. A person who is willing to casually date for months and months on end without any discussion of where the relationship is headed is not really marriage material. That’s not the say that marriage should be brought up in the first three dates, but if someone does have the goal of establishing a long-term relationship with you, you are going to see things moving forward. Dates and communication will be consistent. Talks of meeting family members and friends will come up. Questions about where you see your life in six months or next year will be asked. Titles will be established. Bottom line, goals will be set, and met, at a pretty steady pace. When you’re seeing someone and all of this is happening, smile. We’re pretty confident that you are seeing someone who is truly marriage material!