A couple of weeks ago, we posted an article entitled “Unrealistic Expectations: 5 Things to Not Expect from a First (or Second) Date”. If you get a chance, check it out. Basically it touched on a lot of the things that many of us expect from a first (or second) date; things that, at the end of the day, tend to happen more in the movies than in actually real life.
One of those things is expecting to fall in love at first sight.
What’s a trip is a lot of people probably don’t realize just how much they expect that to happen; how much of a pattern it is in their own dating life. So, if you’re wondering if you tend to fall victim to this dating epidemic, here’s a clue: If after one date, there are not fireworks and you find yourself not wanting to see the person again because of it, you’re probably someone who has the habit of judging too harshly on a first date.
This tends to happen especially if you who were either set up by a professional matchmaker or someone who you know. It’s somewhat understandable too. When you make the time to share all of what you’re looking for and you’re told “Ohhh, I have the perfect person for you!” that’s exactly who you expect to meet: a perfect person. But here’s the reality check: No one is perfect, so if that’s what you’re looking for, they are already doomed to fail, no matter how wonderful they actually may be.
We would hate for you to miss out on a good person, on the right person for you, all because you did a one-time glance over on a first date and then shut down any possibility of a second one. So, to prevent that from transpiring, here are three reasons why you totally shouldn’t judge someone by the first impression they gave you. Why you should be open to offering them a second chance. And date.
People are often nervous on the first date. New experiences tend to bring along with them the case of jittery nerves. This can especially be the case when it comes to a first date. Palms may be sweaty. Thoughts may be incomplete. In some ways, the person you’re with might seem like a bit of a klutz. But don’t hold that against them. Even if you happen to be someone who is cool under pressure, each individual is different. So long as your date exudes kindness and consideration for you and others they are interacting with (such as the wait staff), they should at least be in the running to get a second date.
The conversations may get off of the “wrong” footing. Although it’s basically a standard rule to not discuss politics and religion with people you’ve just met, that doesn’t mean there aren’t other topics that can cause things to get a bit…heated. It may be pop culture, sports or even philanthropy. Basically a conversation trigger happens whenever a topic is brought up that one or both people are passionate about; where there are going to be strong opinions. However, as a wise person once said “When two people are just alike, one of them is unnecessary.” And here’s the underlying point of that resolve: What you should pay attention to is not if someone agrees with you. It’s how they disagree that you should take special note of. So long as they are listening to your views and respecting your opinion, it’s fine that you both don’t totally see eye-to-eye. Besides, you never know. By hearing what they have to say, they just might give you a perspective that you’ve never considered before. Yep. Sometimes “different” can be stimulating. Sexy, even. If you allow it to be.
You may have more in common than you initially thought. It’s pretty common for two people to meet for the first time at a restaurant (unless you go through a professional matchmaking service like Tawkify; check ‘em out when you get a chance!). But that doesn’t necessarily mean that both of them are going to like the cuisine or the ambiance…or the service. If this is the case on your first date, don’t let the venue cause you to automatically think that you and your date don’t have a lot in common. It’s important to keep in mind that a first date is an introduction; however, it’s not to be treated as much more than that. During the time that you do have, inquire about what their interests and hobbies are. You may discover that you like the same movies or the same sports or that you both like to go kayaking, hiking or the same local band. In fact, you might end up having so much in common that you’ll find yourself wanting to go on a second date. And quite possibly even a third!