If you’ve never heard the following quote by writer Maureen Dowd, we are thrilled to be the first ones to share it with you! Without question, with it comes to matters of the heart, it’s definitely words to live by: “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”
The thing that’s so awesome about it (at least it is to us) is it’s a reminder that when it comes to having standards in relationships, it’s important to set them high. Not so high that no human on earth can possibly reach them, but high enough for you to feel valued within it.
Are you someone who knows in that in times past, you found yourself not getting all that you deserved in a relationship because your standards were not high enough? If so and you’d like a few tips, in the form of warning signals, to let you know when your standards are so low that you need to move on, here are some that we’re confident that every (reputable) professional matchmaker in the world would agree with!
If your needs aren’t being met, your standards are too low. Wanna know one reason why a lot of people’s needs aren’t being met in their relationship? It’s because before they went into it, they didn’t take out the time to think about what those needs actually were. If you’re someone who needs to take things slow and date the old-fashioned way, it’s important to know that---beforehand. If you’re someone who’s not interested in casual dating and you’re looking for something exclusive, it’s important to know that too. Or if you’ve been hurt before, you know you’re fragile when it comes to trust and so honesty is top on your list of character traits, that also needs to be high up on your radar. Or perhaps your ex wasn’t the best communicator and you need someone to engage you a lot more; there is certainly no shame in that. Can you see where we’re going with this? When you know what you need, it helps you to see if you’re getting those needs met. Or not. And if they aren’t, you’ve stated it but you continue to be ignored but you stay in the relationship anyway, your standards are way too low.
If you have to beg for attention, your standards are too low. A lot of people probably don’t even realize that they are begging their significant other for attention, but here are some examples of what we mean by that. If you’re constantly asking them to call or text you back, if the you only go on a date is if you set it up and if the only time it seems like they are willing to drop everything to be with you is when it comes to sex and you’re tolerating all of this, guess what? One, you definitely deserve better. And two, your standards are too low.
If you’re upset/unhappy most of the time, your standards are too low. It’s one thing to have a favorite love song that you like to listen to. It’s another matter entirely to be the one who’s basically living out the lyrics. That said, if you know that you are either upset or unhappy more times than you feel blessed and pleased with yourself, your relationship and the person you are seeing, that’s not something to ignore. Being upset/unhappy is a clear sign of discontent. To keep going through the (e)motions, unsatisfied, is another sign that you standards are too low.
If you’re doing most of the work, your standards are too low. This one is short and sweet (and also works really well with the “begging for attention” point that we already brought up). If the relationship would cease to exist, literally, without your effort; if you are always trying to be the encourager, supporter and proactive party when it comes to the relationship itself and you feel like you’re doing all of the work alone, yep. Your standards are too low.
If you’re always making excuses for what you know is unhealthy, your standards are too low. And finally, if after reading all of this, you are trying to figure out how to excuse away these warnings, along with the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that there are other ones that you are not paying attention to, again, your standards are too low. A truly loving relationship should lift you higher, not let you down. Therefore, don’t be afraid or apologetic for raising the bar when it comes to what you want in yours. You’re worthy of having every single need met. Guaranteed.