If at first glance, the title of this article throws you off a bit, we get it. From professional matchmakers to personal friends and even relationship blogs, it would seem like everyone wants singles to get out of the casual dating scene; that most folks would prefer that singles court instead of date so that they can end up walking down the aisle towards their own true love---sooner than later.
Look, it’s not like we’re not for that as well. It’s just that we also know that if you’re in a rush to try and “make something happen” either before you or the relationship is ready, it could end up doing you (and the relationship) more harm than good.
That’s why, if you’re just meeting someone for the first time, for the first few dates (and/or few months, whichever comes first), we actually recommend that you remaining open to seeing more than just them.
And what are the benefits that come with taking that particular approach? We’re so glad that you asked.
Seeing more than one person expands your options. One of the benefits that comes with being single is until you enter into an exclusive relationship with someone, you are free to see whomever you wish. Here’s why that’s something worth taking advantage of. By seeing several people at once, you are not limited to dating one kind of individual. You can date several at a time in order to get a feel for what you like and what you don’t. This works in your favor because when people become exclusive too quickly, they have a tendency to focus on all of the “pros” about a person, all the while ignore the “cons”. And when that’s the case, they can force themselves into thinking someone is truly compatible with them…when actually, there might be other folks who are far more suitable.
Seeing more than one person takes the pressure off. If you’re the kind of person who has a tendency to try and make a relationship become too serious too soon, you definitely can benefit from seeing several people. Rather than going on a couple of dates with one person, liking them and then already deciding that they are “the one” before allowing things to develop, you can see multiple people, have a good time and then cautiously and discerningly determine who is really best for you. Because things are a bit “lighter”, you will not put yourself in an emotional rat race to find someone to exclusively be with. And you can always trust your judgment so much better when you’re not…anxious.
Seeing more than one person teaches you more about yourself. What your mother brings out in you is going to be much different than what your boss does. That’s because they are two totally different kinds of relationships. Not only that but they are two totally different kinds of people as well. The same thing applies to dating different people. Being that each one is an individual, they will “tap into” different parts of you. For instance, if one person tends to be more of an intellectual, they will challenge you in that way, while if another is more spontaneous and funny, they will influence you to explore some things that you may not have tried before. Then you can step back and determine for yourself who brings out the best in you, who is encouraging you to grow in some really significant ways---and who doesn’t.
Seeing more than one person helps you to decide what kind of relationship you really want. If after a few weeks of seeing several people you’re like “This is exhausting. I really want to find my soul mate and be done with all of this”, that still means that serial dating worked in your favor. Why? It’s because now you can start pursuing something on a more serious and intentional level, knowing that you won’t be tempted to “veer out” once something long-term is established. You will have seen what’s out there and made a non-hurried decision that you want to be with just one person. Plus, you’ll have a better idea of the kind of person you want them to be. And all of this came from stepping out and doing a bit of serial dating. Yep. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.