If you were to schedule an appointment to talk with a professional matchmaker this weekend and when it comes to the holiday season, they were to ask you what your absolute worst nightmare was, we wouldn’t be surprised in the least if you said “experiencing a break-up”. Yet there are all sorts of reports which indicate that when it comes to the period between November and January, it is one of the peak seasons for ending relationships. Some people do it because they are cheap (yep, they don’t want to spend money on a present). Others do it because they want to ring in the New Year…differently.
Whatever the case may be, as you can tell from the title of this post, we agree with you totally if you feel like it sucks, BIG TIME, to have to either be the one to break the bad news or to be the one who is on the receiving end of it. But if there’s a part of you who senses that it’s coming, has already had it happen or you want to prepare a friend for what seems to be the inevitable in their own love life (because oftentimes they are signs beforehand, whether we choose to acknowledge them or not ), here are five tips that can make the…separation anxiety easier to deal with.
Avoid going through it on an actual holiday. Thanksgiving. Christmas Eve. Christmas Day. New Year’s Eve. (Shoot, New Year’s Day!) Of all of the days on the entire planet that you have to break up, avoid these days at all costs! Holidays carry memories along with them and even if the relationship has ran its course, you don’t want either one of you to look back each year and think of a holiday as the day you got dumped, or did the dumping. So, if you’re planning on ending it, do it before the next holiday. Or, if you sense that your significant other wants to, ask them to share with you what’s on their mind before the next holiday as well.
Get closure. Whether or not you’re the one who’s delivering the news, you’re going to need some sort of closure. In fact, it’s our opinion that one of the biggest misconceptions about break-ups is if you’re the person doing the breaking up, you’re not hurting in any way. The reality is when you go into something hoping that it will work and it doesn’t, or someone shows signs of being toxic for you, that can still be disappointing. And even a bit sad. So as awkward as breaking up may be, don’t dodge the issue. Say all that needs to be said and ask as many questions as you want to ask. That way, you can walk away with clarity. That way, you won’t have to carry unresolved issues about the relationship into the New Year.
Do not isolate yourself. Sure, you might be tempted to go into your bedroom, pull the curtains and hibernate until January 2, but honestly, that is one of the worst things that you can do! Winter is known for bringing with it seasonal depression. You don’t want to “ask it” to come into your life by creating an isolated environment. The holiday season is a time of family and friends. They will welcome loving on you. Don’t shut them out. Let them in.
Enjoy some festivities. Something that is truly awesome about the holiday season is the fact that there are so many fun and festive things to do. There are Christmas movies. Holiday parties. Dinners at friends’ homes. All sorts of things to beckon you to take in a bit of the holiday cheer! You’re not going to be able to get out of a break-up funk if you’re sitting around brooding all day and night. So get out on the town! And you know what? Use this as an opportunity to get yourself a new outfit too! Look at it as “single and almost ready to mingle” attire, with the key word being “almost”. This brings us to our final point.
DO. NOT. REBOUND. The holiday season brings along with it a lot of mistletoe and spiked eggnog. That said, be careful about letting the magic and romance (and alcoholic spirits) of the season seduce you from jumping into another relationship (or bed) too soon. Now isn’t the time to look for new love. Now is the time to get back to your first love: yourself. If you do that, who knows what, and who, the next holiday season will bring. Once you’re healed. And ready.